Life

Life is not about growing old...it's about growing up.

--Bill Gove, 1912-2001, the father of professional speaking

Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace. If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on G-d, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace. In that stillness you will know what His will is.

~Amy Carmichael

You cannot be both unhappy and fully present in the NOW

Attention has a natural habit of becoming attached to thoughts that are being thought. Normally the attention tends to easily get caught up in your thinking because that is the most active part of you, the part that is activated the most easily, and that attracts the attention most easily. The attention also tends to become attached to a train of thought and keep going from one thought to the next that is somehow associated with it, so that it is difficult to stop thinking and experience just the stillness of the soul.

Just about all of our thoughts have to do with either 'forward' time: upcoming vacation, payday, what to have for dinner, pick up kids from school, schedules, appointments, deadlines etc.
Or 'past' time: longing for happier times in your youth, trouble releasing hurts and pain that happened before. This has the effect of 'removing' us from the moment, and being stuck in forward or past times. Dismissing thoughts, teaches you to be here, in the present. This is the goal. Be here now. Exist in the moment. This will allow you to experience the Perfect Moment. Connection. Understanding. Peace.

A positive experience is a negative experience handled with awareness.

Wisdom

To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; the biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are. We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people’s demands. We have learned to live by other people’s points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.

When you will become immune to the opinions and actions of others, you will stop exposing yourself to needless suffering.

It is not important to me what you think about, and I don’t take what you think or say personally. I know what I am. I don’t have the need to be accepted. Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them.

Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally.

There may be times when you have ideas that don’t originate in your mind, but you are perceiving them with your mind. We have a choice whether or not to believe the voices we hear within our own minds.

When you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally, you avoid many aspects in your life. Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear, and even your sadness will simply disappear.

We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot of inner conflict.

Being impeccable is not going against yourself. You take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.

Sin begins with rejection of yourself. Self-rejection is the biggest sin that you can commit. If I love myself I will express that love in my interactions with others

Attention. Attention. Attention.

One day a man of the people said to the Zen master Ikkyu: “Master, will you please write for me some maxims of the highest wisdom?” Ikkyu immediately took his brush and wrote the word “Attention.” “Is that all?” asked the man. “Will you not add something more?” Ikkyu then wrote twice running: “Attention. Attention.” “Well,” remarked the man rather irritably,“I really don’t see much depth or subtlety in what you have just written.” Then Ikkyu wrote the same word three times running: “Attention. Attention. Attention.” Be aware. Be awake. Direct your attention.

Mind Detox

When our bodies become poisoned, whether from alcohol or drugs or environmental toxins, we must go through a detoxification process to regain health. This can be a difficult, possibly painful process as the body throws off the poison. If one is unwilling to endure some discomfort one is unlikely to become free of the poison. If one is willing to persist and take time to let the body heal, a new level of health is possible.

Just as our bodies can be weakened by exposure to poisons, our minds are susceptible to the toxins of craving, aversion, and ignorance. These mental toxins arise naturally in human life, and unfortunately, our culture often encourages them. Most of us live in a toxic soup of fear, anger, envy, and impatience. Just as the addict indulges in unhealthy behavior that, for a while, masks the nature of the poison, we delude ourselves into thinking that our unhappiness can be removed by material things and sensual pleasures. Lasting happiness does not come from doing things or having things. Happiness arises naturally when we become free of the mental and emotional toxins that poison us.

Meditation is a tool we can use to detoxify the mind. When we meditate, we suspend our indulgence in toxic thoughts. When we open the mind and just observe, we can begin to see the source of our difficulties.

When we quiet the mind, we can see the source of our misery in our toxic memories and thoughts. We may find that sitting still stimulates the flow of negative thoughts and emotions. Just as an alcoholic in detox may experience shakiness, hallucinations, and unpleasant body sensations, when we attempt to still the mind, the mental impurities may manifest themselves. This is the opportunity to go beyond our addiction to them and observe them at their source. The sources of misery are not outside us. They are within the structure of the body/mind. In the peace of a quieter mind we can see the truth.

Give yourself time in meditation to free yourself of mental toxins. Be patient. Be persistent. Take time to attain subtler and subtler truth, deeper and deeper knowing.

Practice:

Sit upright with erect spine and closed or downcast eyes. Stay present as you observe your respiration. Notice your in-breath and your out-breath. Don't try to change your breathing. Just watch the breath flow in and out.

As you observe your breath, memories, thoughts, and feelings may arise. Notice them, but don't cling to them. Don't try to make them go away. Just observe them dispassionately and let them go. Continue to follow your breath and stay awake and aware.

As thoughts and emotions arise, observe how they arise. How do they come to you? As discomfort arises, observe how it arises. What is the source of the discomfort?

Use this quiet time to learn about yourself. Realize the truth of your nature. Allow the impurities of mind to arise and dissipate. Be patient. Sit in the light of true self healing. Sit in the realization of your true nature. Experience the truth beyond mind and matter.

Dissolving Thoughts

If we continue to allow our ordinary thinking to run wild, we cannot predict what is lined up for us in the future, where we will end up, in what shape or form. The bottom line is this: we need to know how to dissolve thoughts.

Letting Go of Need To Be in Control

Letting go of your need to be in control is an easy way to relate positively to the individuals you encounter throughout your lifetime. When you have expectations that need to be met, it’s easy to disregard other people’s needs and feelings. Choosing to deal with life as it unfolds rather than seeking to direct its course allows you to interact with others spontaneously and in the moment. While you can still anticipate a favorable outcome, you won’t feel compelled to interfere with the lives of others or to manipulate circumstances to achieve a certain result. Let go of your need to be in control, and you will create healthier and more authentic relationships with others.

Awareness

Be aware of your body: its sensations and the simple fact of it. Aware of the existence of thoughts as they arise and dissipate. Aware of sounds and sights. Aware that for the past minute you were lost in thought, not paying attention at all.

Whatever is presenting itself to your awareness right now, attend to that.

At first, you may become aware that your mind is extraordinarily busy, constantly engaged in thought and reaction. And you might begin to see that all this mental activity often doesn't serve you very well. Occasionally it is focused and helpful. Often it is random and pointless. Frequently it is obtrusive or destructive. But the point here is not to judge it, just to be aware of it. Because more than anything, it is unnoticed.

You will probably become increasingly aware that there are significant gaps in your awareness. I don’t mean that there is some sound or something you are not hearing. Of course there is. No one can be aware of everything all the time. You’d go crazy. What I mean is, there are long stretches when you are not aware of anything. You have checked out. Your mind is lost in thought, and you are not even aware of your own thoughts. You did not notice when you checked out. You return to awareness at some point and realize that for a long time you were not really here. Your mind was rattling on as if on auto-pilot.

As you go on, you will find that this is the state most of us are in most of the time. We are not paying attention. We are not paying attention to others. Others are not paying attention to us. We are disconnected from the sensations in our bodies. We are blind to the beauty around us and deaf to the sounds of life. We are lost in thought.

Thought is a product of the past. It is the accumulation of experience and memory through which we filter and categorize everything we encounter, constantly turning everything that is new into something old and familiar. Because thought belongs always to the past, when we are lost in thought we are lost in the past, and cheating ourselves of the present. And the present is the only place that we have any actual existence, so by being lost in thought, we are cheating ourselves of life. By identifying only with our thoughts, we are functioning from something less than the full range of our being.

You will see this for yourself.

Meditation does not have to be confined to a special time and place. It is easier in a quiet place dedicated to meditation, because there is less stimulation. Less to be aware of. No one triggering our fight-flight reactions. No one flattering our egos or insulting our beliefs, or placing unrealistic demands on us. There is less noise to filter out, so we can think somewhat clearly and pay attention to our own bodies and minds. We can open our senses and practice being aware and present.

But as awareness increases, we must carry it out into the rest of our lives. If nothing else, we will soon see how unaware we normally are. How often the people around us are unaware. How our whole society is built on unawareness, on slavish, unconscious response to the stimulation of our appetites and prejudices, on ignorance and self-deception. We do not need to be told this. We can see it when we become aware of our own inattention.

But for now, start simply. Sit comfortably. There is no right way or wrong way to sit. Sit in a way that is comfortable, so you do not have to shift around a lot, but not so relaxed that you will fall asleep.

Take some time simply to be aware of the belly, how it rises and falls with each breath. Be aware of all the sensations of the belly as it rises and falls. It rises. It falls. It grumbles as it digests lunch. The grumble embarrasses you.

Be aware of thoughts as they arise. Be aware of how a thought arises, and you get swept away by it, to the point where you are no longer aware at all. You are lost in thought. Notice how you did not catch the moment when you got lost in thought, just as you don't notice the moment when you fall asleep.

Be aware of how the attention wanders. How the belly rises and falls through it all. You do not have to judge. You do not have to control. You do not have to say "yes" to this and "no" to that. Just pay attention. Be aware. Nothing more. Nothing less. And see what happens.

It is OK to be lost. It is OK to make mistakes. It is OK to have "your thing" and be who you are.