Nothing in this world is permanent. We can observe this on all levels. On a universal level, stars form and collapse. On a global level, continents shift and climates change. On a personal level, we observe the decay of our body, changes to our mind, relationships coming and going, our possessions wearing out. We live in a world of constant flux. Unfortunately, many of us refuse to recognize this, and suffering is the result.
When we fail to acknowledge impermanence, we cling to things. We cling to our youth, to our health, to our relationships, and to our possessions. We cling to them as though they could provide lasting happiness, as though they will last forever. Eventually, reality intervenes. That to which we cling is taken from us, and we forced to face the truth of impermanence. Thus we have the pain of a stolen car, of an ended relationship, or the death of a loved one.
In actual fact, the pain associated with clinging arises even before these moments. The pain arises earlier in the form of fear. Deep down, we are already aware of impermanence. Therefore, if we cling to something that is temporary, we live in fear of the day when it is taken from us. We can have a much happier life if we instead realize and accept the impermanence of existence. We can see the futility of clinging to things, and instead learn to appreciate them while we have them, but without staking our happiness on them. This also helps us to make better decisions. When we understand that we will change, and that other people will change, then we can recognize when a fresh approach is needed.
The suffering that results from clinging to impermanence is not fun. Learning to acknowledge the impermanence of existing may seem scary, however it is actually liberating. In reality, we are just acknowledging something that we are already aware of anyway. When we bring it into the open, we realize that it is not so scary. We actually find that recognition of impermanence brings more lightness, acceptance, and joy into our lives, and that the fear and suffering go away.
http://spiritualinquiry.com/
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
1. I shall not be misguided by self-indulgence
2. I shall not be confused by methodologies
3. I shall not be enticed by power or reputation
4. I shall not suffer from material desires
5. I shall not be controlled by fascination
6. I shall not be angered by injustice
7. I shall not be confined by sentimentality
8. I shall not be disturbed by social customs
9. I shall always be open-minded and magnanimous
10. I shall always be wise and understanding
2. I shall not be confused by methodologies
3. I shall not be enticed by power or reputation
4. I shall not suffer from material desires
5. I shall not be controlled by fascination
6. I shall not be angered by injustice
7. I shall not be confined by sentimentality
8. I shall not be disturbed by social customs
9. I shall always be open-minded and magnanimous
10. I shall always be wise and understanding
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Assertion Rights
1. I have the right to state my own needs and to set my own priorities as a person, independent of any roles that I may assume in my life.
2. I have the right to be treated with respect as an intelligent, capable and equal human being.
3. I have the right to express my feelings.
4. I have the right to express my opinions and values.
5. I have the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for myself.
6. I have the right to make mistakes.
7. I have the right to change my mind.
8. I have the right to say that I don’t understand.
9. I have the right to ask for what I want.
10. I have the right to decline responsibility for other people’s problems.
11. I have the right to deal with others without being dependent on them for approval.
12. Other people have the right to all of the above.
2. I have the right to be treated with respect as an intelligent, capable and equal human being.
3. I have the right to express my feelings.
4. I have the right to express my opinions and values.
5. I have the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for myself.
6. I have the right to make mistakes.
7. I have the right to change my mind.
8. I have the right to say that I don’t understand.
9. I have the right to ask for what I want.
10. I have the right to decline responsibility for other people’s problems.
11. I have the right to deal with others without being dependent on them for approval.
12. Other people have the right to all of the above.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Passive-aggressive behavior can take the form of sarcasm, procrastination, chronic lateness, being a party-pooper, constantly complaining, being negative, offering opinions and advice that is not asked for, being the martyr, slinging arrows ("whatever have you done to your hair", "gained a little weight haven't we?"), etc. If we don't know how to set boundaries or will go along with anything to avoid conflict, then we often will agree to doing things we don't want to do - and as a result we will not be happy doing them and will get back at the other person somehow, someway because we are angry at them for "making" us do something we don't want to do.
Non-Aggression With Difficult People
In reality there are no fixed categories. “Friends” sometimes disappoint, “enemies” sometimes pleasantly surprise, and “neutrals” need not remain so.
By practicing non-aggression with difficult people or situations in our life, we may even find ourselves grateful for the chance to practice discipline, self-restraint, and patience.
By practicing non-aggression with difficult people or situations in our life, we may even find ourselves grateful for the chance to practice discipline, self-restraint, and patience.
Mittakali's Poem
Although I left home for no home
and wandered, full of faith
I was still greedy
for possessions and praise
I lost my way.
My passions used me,
and I forgot the real point
of my wandering life.
Then a I sat in my little cell,
there was only terror.
I thought - this is the wrong way,
a fever of longing controls me.
Life is short.
Age and sickness gnaw away.
I have no time for carelessness
before this body breaks.
And as I watched the elements of mind and body
rise and fall away
I saw them as they really are.
I stood up.
My mind was completely free.
The Buddha's teaching has been done.
~Mittakali
and wandered, full of faith
I was still greedy
for possessions and praise
I lost my way.
My passions used me,
and I forgot the real point
of my wandering life.
Then a I sat in my little cell,
there was only terror.
I thought - this is the wrong way,
a fever of longing controls me.
Life is short.
Age and sickness gnaw away.
I have no time for carelessness
before this body breaks.
And as I watched the elements of mind and body
rise and fall away
I saw them as they really are.
I stood up.
My mind was completely free.
The Buddha's teaching has been done.
~Mittakali
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Regarding Worry
You do not need to be a victim of worry. Worry is an unhealthy and destructive mental habit. You are not born with the worry habit. You acquired it. And because you can change any habit and any acquired attitude, you can cast worry from your mind. There is just one proper time to begin an effective attack on worry, and that is now. So let us start breaking your worry habit at once.
Anxiety is the greatest modern plague causing many forms of ill health. The worrier is not likely to live as long as the person who learns to overcome his worries.
Worries can be cast off easily. The first step to break the habit of worry is simply to believe you can. Whatever you believe you can do, you can do.
During sleep, thoughts tend to seek more deep in the sub conscious. The last 5 minutes before going to sleep are of extraordinary importance because during that period, mind is most receptive to suggestions. This process of mind drainage is important in overcoming worry. Fearful thoughts can be drained out from the mind daily. Every night, before going to sleep, conceive yourself of actually emptying your mind of all anxiety and fear. Picture all these thoughts flowing out just like water flows from a tap.
Imagination is the source of fear. You form an image either of fear or of release of fear. What you imagine may ultimately become a fact if held mentally with sufficient faith.
The mind never remains empty. Something or the other keeps going in it. So, when you empty your mind from all the worries, fill it with thoughts of hope, faith, courage etc. keep your mind occupied with some work or the other and your mind won’t have any place for worries.
You can also overcome worry by talking positive everyday. Never say ‘This is going to be a terrible day’. Always say ‘It is going to be a great day’. Never participate in a worry conversation. A group of people talking pessimistically can infect every person in the group with negativism.
Cultivate friendships with hopeful people. Surround yourself with friends who think positive and who contribute to a creative atmosphere. This will help you in breaking your worry habit by stimulating you with faithful attitudes.
By following these simple rules, you can get rid of your greatest enemy. I hope my article will help you to break the huge tree of worry. All the best to all of you and keep smiling!
Anxiety is the greatest modern plague causing many forms of ill health. The worrier is not likely to live as long as the person who learns to overcome his worries.
Worries can be cast off easily. The first step to break the habit of worry is simply to believe you can. Whatever you believe you can do, you can do.
During sleep, thoughts tend to seek more deep in the sub conscious. The last 5 minutes before going to sleep are of extraordinary importance because during that period, mind is most receptive to suggestions. This process of mind drainage is important in overcoming worry. Fearful thoughts can be drained out from the mind daily. Every night, before going to sleep, conceive yourself of actually emptying your mind of all anxiety and fear. Picture all these thoughts flowing out just like water flows from a tap.
Imagination is the source of fear. You form an image either of fear or of release of fear. What you imagine may ultimately become a fact if held mentally with sufficient faith.
The mind never remains empty. Something or the other keeps going in it. So, when you empty your mind from all the worries, fill it with thoughts of hope, faith, courage etc. keep your mind occupied with some work or the other and your mind won’t have any place for worries.
You can also overcome worry by talking positive everyday. Never say ‘This is going to be a terrible day’. Always say ‘It is going to be a great day’. Never participate in a worry conversation. A group of people talking pessimistically can infect every person in the group with negativism.
Cultivate friendships with hopeful people. Surround yourself with friends who think positive and who contribute to a creative atmosphere. This will help you in breaking your worry habit by stimulating you with faithful attitudes.
By following these simple rules, you can get rid of your greatest enemy. I hope my article will help you to break the huge tree of worry. All the best to all of you and keep smiling!
HOW TO BREAK THE WORRY HABIT
One of the biggest problems facing humanity today is excessive worry. One may argue that we have plenty to worry about. But, do you know that of the things you worry about 40% never happen, 30% has already happened, 12% are needless, and 10% are petty or small. Only 8% of what you worry about are real and divided into those you can solve and those you cannot. If you cannot solve it, why spend valuable time worrying about it? Worry robs us of peace, joy, and keeps us living limited lives. In excess it can even jeopardize our health. So how do we break the worry habit?
1. Ask yourself this question. What are the chances that what I am worrying about will ever happen?
2. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Don’t spend valuable time on inconsequential things. Don’t make it bigger than it is.
3. Accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference (The Serenity Prayer)
4. Focus on Solutions not Problems. Most people spend 90 %of their time on the problem and 10% on the solution. It should be the other way—90% on the solution and 10% on the problem.
5. Live In the Present. Don’t try to predict what CAN happen in the future. Concentrate on what you want to happen NOW. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but live in the present.
6. Solve Problems as They Arise. Problems don’t go away or get better because you ignore them. Look for the best possible solution and then take positive action.
7. Keep busy – Stay focused on the many positive possibilities that lie ahead for you. Engage in activities that inspire and motivate you. Don’t live your lives based on What if? You could spend your entire existence worrying about NOTHING.
http://www.lindaspeak.com/ptworry.htm
1. Ask yourself this question. What are the chances that what I am worrying about will ever happen?
2. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Don’t spend valuable time on inconsequential things. Don’t make it bigger than it is.
3. Accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference (The Serenity Prayer)
4. Focus on Solutions not Problems. Most people spend 90 %of their time on the problem and 10% on the solution. It should be the other way—90% on the solution and 10% on the problem.
5. Live In the Present. Don’t try to predict what CAN happen in the future. Concentrate on what you want to happen NOW. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but live in the present.
6. Solve Problems as They Arise. Problems don’t go away or get better because you ignore them. Look for the best possible solution and then take positive action.
7. Keep busy – Stay focused on the many positive possibilities that lie ahead for you. Engage in activities that inspire and motivate you. Don’t live your lives based on What if? You could spend your entire existence worrying about NOTHING.
http://www.lindaspeak.com/ptworry.htm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)