1. Observe your self‐talk. What do you think and say about yourself? What aspects of yourself do you like? What do you judge and criticize? When you expose thoughts of self‐doubt and self-hatred, be grateful. They lead you to dismantle the patterns of self-sabotage that limit you.

2. Observe your fears. Write these down on paper in detail so you can see them clearly. Pay attention to negative emotions that you feel throughout the day. What was the thought that preceded the way you felt? If you want to feel emotionally and physically better more of the time, you need to understand the thoughts that are causing you to feel bad emotionally.

3. Notice what percentage of time your thoughts are focused in the past or the future rather than the present. The past was a present moment that already happened and the future is a present moment that has not yet occurred. Most of us miss the present—the only moment we have power to change.

Ваш эгоизм совершенно здоров, если вы:

Ваш эгоизм совершенно здоров, если вы:
1)отстаиваете свое право на отказ от чего-либо, если считаете, что это принесет вам вред;
2)понимаете, что ваши цели будут осуществляться в первую очередь, но другие имеют право на свой интерес;
3)умеете совершать поступки в свою пользу, стараясь не вредить другим, и способны пойти на компромисс;
4)имеете собственное мнение и не боитесь высказываться, даже когда оно отличается от чужого;
5)готовы защищаться любыми способами, если вам или вашим близким угрожает опасность;
6)не боитесь критиковать кого-то, но не переходите на грубости;
7)никому не подчиняетесь, но и не стремитесь контролировать других;
8)уважаете желания партнера, но не переступаете через себя;
9)не мучаетесь чувством вины, сделав выбор в свою пользу;
10)любите и уважаете себя, не требуя от других слепого обожания.

That Is Life

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is "AUTHENTICITY".

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it "RESPECT".

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it "MATURITY".

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it
"SELF-CONFIDENCE".

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own
rhythm. Today I call it
"SIMPLICITY".

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health -
food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is
"LOVE OF ONESELF".

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is
"MODESTY".

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it
"FULFILLMENT".

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection
"WISDOM OF THE HEART".

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know
"THAT IS LIFE"!

Hero: Why didn't you tell me you had that Applied Phlebotinum in your pocket?
Sidekick: You didn't ask.

You owe yourself the favor to be respectful of your money, time and esteem, and make sure you never do this to yourself again!

~Amie McCarthy

6 Steps to Dissolve Fear

1. Name the fear. Shamans say that when we name our fear, it loses power. Brain research shows that when we name our fear, there's more brain activity in the frontal cortex (which is reasoning), and less in the limbic system (which is panic.) Put your hand on your heart. What are you actually afraid of? Notice that when you bring awareness to observing the fear, it has less control over you.

2. Don't act on the fear. Instead, sit with it. When you stop fighting fear, or running from it, it loses its power. Our reflex is to pull away, to clench up. But if you can sit with the fear, breath into it, you start to dissolve it. If you're losing sleep about your child, try just sitting, breathing, tolerating the fear. Resist the urge to take action or lash out.

3. Drop the story that's making you fearful. It could be that your kid will still be wearing diapers when he graduates from college, or still whacking his little sister, but it isn't likely. Whatever story you're telling yourself about your kid is making things worse. He's acting like a kid because he is a kid, and his challenging behavior is a plea for help. Your loving presence is the beginning of healing. That's the only story you need.

4. Bathe yourself in love and connection. The only real antidote to fear is love. The Dalai Lama says "Just imagine you're held in the heart of the Buddha." You might imagine tenderly holding your child when she was a newborn, or being held yourself.

5. Use a mantra: "Whatever happens, I can handle it." Fear is just the panic that we won't be able to handle something. But the truth is, whatever happens, you can handle it. And you can handle it from a much better place if you're anchored in love rather than driven by fear.

5. Use a mantra: "Whatever resists, persists"

Fully Embrace Vulnerability

According to researchers, if you want to be healthy you have to be in an environment where you are accepted and are free to have flaws. You also have to love yourself, have compassion for yourself and accept yourself. Why, because if we are going to be healthy, we must connect, and if we are going to connect, we must be vulnerable with each other.

http://donmilleris.com/2011/12/21/the-power-of-vulnerability/

Change your expectations regarding the amount of attention that you need and deserve from others.

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it’s all between you and G-d;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Mother Teresa

А из чего оно складывается, ваше счастье?

— А из чего оно складывается, ваше счастье?
— Из удобной, спокойной и свободной жизни с одной стороны. А также из строжайшей самодисциплины, вечной неудовлетворённости, стремления украсить жизнь, расширить познание, раздвинуть пределы мира.
— Но это же противоречит одно другому!
— Напротив, это диалектическое единство и, следовательно в нём заключено развитие!

~Иван Ефремов