Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Счастливый брак - это не союз двух совершенных личностей. Это два человека, которым хватило мудрости не делать трагедий из того, что у них разные характеры, взгляды, вкусы.Они живут и любят, как бы не было трудно.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Richard's Affirmations

An affirmation is a positive, believable thought that you choose to immerse in your consciousness to produce a desired result.

I live as much of my life as I can right now! I find my greatest pleasure right here, in the moment, so whatever I am doing, I do as well as I can.

I become what I think about all day long. The more attention I put on something that is positive, the better I will feel. When I find myself trapped in my analytical mind, I drop my thoughts, clear my mind, and relax. I accept thoughts for what they are. There is no need to turn them into more than they really are or to take them too seriously

My past is a figment of my imagination and so is my future. The only moment that is real is right now.

I commit myself to noticing when I rush. I can’t smell the roses if I am running past them. As soon as I notice myself rushing, I bring myself back to the present moment.

I look for the positive in every situation.

I embrace and experience life rather than constantly analysing it.

I am happy with what is, rather than obsessing with what could be better.

I strive to be fully with the person I am with.

I don’t postpone all of my gratification, I live as much of my life as I can, right now!

I distrust and dismiss my thoughts when I am low. I wait until my mood lifts which will happen quickly when I don’t focus on negative thoughts.

I notice my negative thoughts and let them go. It’s impossible to feel gratitude for something when I am too busy trying to improve it. The solution to depression is to bring my attention back to the present moment where depression can’t exist.
I regularly search for, and acknowledge, my healthy functioning and appreciate it when it is present. In this way I let it grow. Even in the midst of negativity, happy people know there is something better, more powerful, and more important than what they are thinking about. The passage of time has no real relevance in helping us to get over something other than encouraging us to think about other things besides whatever is bothering us. When I forgive someone, including myself, I am saying to myself, “The past is over”. No-one, even myself, can undo what is done. I find my happiness by living in the moment rather than demanding that situations, conditions, places, or people make me happy.

I take responsibility for my own happiness, right now and choose to concentrate on what I have instead of what I lack.

My healthy functioning is not concerned with what happens in my life, but rather with how I relate to what happens in my life.

I don’t find light by studying the dark.

The past is no longer here. It’s over. It exists only in my own thinking. It was real then, but now it’s only a part of my imagination.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Rule number one is that we create our own thoughts; they flow into our minds and, if left undisturbed, they will flow out again. Our thoughts are just thoughts. They are harmless, providing we decide not to hook into them, or go over and over them, or dwell on them, or create emotional involvement with them. In fact these are choices that we are presented with all day long; because as soon as we decide to hook into and elaborate on a particular thought, which then generates an emotion we are automatically no longer in the present moment! If you feel the need to follow every train of thought that happens to enter your mind, you will be far too busy to be keeping your complete attention to the present experience on a moment to moment basis. Now, this is not to say that we should ignore each and every one of our thoughts. Our mind is a brilliant tool and we need to use many thoughts, practically and constructively, every minute of every day. However, the real choice that we need to make is to separate those useful thoughts from the negative, repetitive thoughts that usually concern something from the past or a worry over an imagined future. These are the thoughts to step back from and to let pass through the mind without emotional involvement. If you believe that your thinking is caused by other people and events going on “out there” and that you can do nothing about it, then it’s obvious that you will be overwhelmed by your thoughts and living in the present moment will seem difficult, if not impossible. If, on the other hand, you can recognize that you are the one manufacturing your own thoughts and that you can choose to let any negative thoughts pass and create the necessary emotional distance from that thinking, you will be able, with practice, to keep your attention on the here and now, the present moment.
Young children are the best examples of people who fully absorb themselves in the present moment, without negatively holding onto the past or fearing the future. They allow themselves to stay completely focused on whatever they happen to be doing and live the experience 100%. As adults however, we have learnt and become expert at the habit of mulling over past events and stressing over future concerns, which effectively squeezes the life out of our present moments. The good news is that if we learnt how to excel in this behaviour, we can equally unlearn it and choose to excel at thinking differently and letting our negative or distracting thoughts go.
Aside from letting go of needless negative thoughts concerning the past and future, another brilliant technique for re-capturing the present moment is to eliminate hurry. Hurry is nothing more than a bad habit; it’s not a scheduling problem, it’s a state of mind problem. There are many extremely busy and productive individuals who almost never feel hurried, and even more people out there who really aren’t that busy, but who feel terribly and overwhelmingly busy almost all the time. The degree to which you feel hurried in your life is dependent entirely on your ability to keep your attention in the present moment. A mindful person knows that as long as he continues thinking about things yet to be done he will continue to feel hurried; it’s that simple. Our minds are capable of making us feel hurried, even when we’re really not under serious time pressure. So, we’re caught up in a traffic jam, or the train has been cancelled. Is it the end of the world as we know it? Will the sun come up tomorrow morning? Will life go on? Surely in these situations it’s far better to bring your attention back to the present; look around you, smell the coffee, get back to where you are in the moment, right now. Certainly there will be times when you need to do things quickly or take immediate action, but do yourself a favour and save your sense of hurry for those special and rare occasions when it’s truly necessary. One of the most eye-opening experiences in life is simply to notice how often we rush around unnecessarily. Once you notice this tendency, you can eliminate most of it by simply bringing yourself back to right here where you are now. Life isn’t an emergency, it’s an adventure. Once you commit yourself to seeing life this way, you will be amazed at how quickly your life will change for the better. Life is a marvellous gift and as you learn to stop worrying and producing thoughts of a painful past or an uncertain future, you will be able to focus on what is happening right now and to enjoy and appreciate this present moment. When negative thoughts come up, understand that they are just thoughts and you don’t need to fear them. By all means learn from the past and then let it go. As for the future, have faith that it will take care of itself if you approach it one moment at a time.