Continuous cognitive work is like daily session roll, the more often you do it, the less time it takes to rewind

Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real

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Don't give advice or solve people's problems unless they ask you to. This may be difficult, especially if you are feeling irritated, uncomfortable or impatient.

Don't judge, don’t tell people what to do, don't tell them to stop feeling like that, don't tell them they need to change, don't fire questions at them and don't argue.

Don't interrogate people about why they are silent or upset (and taking in personally). This may be difficult, especially if you are feeling irritated, uncomfortable or impatient. 99% it is not about you

Be comfortable with other people being upset. Let the upset person fill the silence rather than yourself. Wait it out. Once you are comfortable with it you will also be less likely to feel the need to fill the silence / feeling guilty and apologizing. 99% it is not about you

Step back and question intrusive thoughts / faulty Core Beliefs:

-Is this really my fault?

-Am I really a bad person?

-Am I really the reason someone is upset or it is their internal / external state?

·         Is this thought realistic?

·         What is the evidence for and against this idea?

·         Might this belief be a habit, rather than something based on facts?

·         How long have I been thinking this?

·         What possible misinterpretations might I be making?

·         Am I thinking in all-or-none/black-and-white terms?

·         Is there any room for “grey” with this thought?

·         Am I using words or phrases that are extreme or exaggerated (i.e., always, forever, never, need, should, must, can’t, ever time, etc.)?

·         Is extreme and/or exaggerated language implied in this thought?

·         In what way might I be focusing only on one aspect of the event (possibly negative)?

·         Who has given me this message before?

-Other people in my life?

-A younger version of myself?

-Is that person a reliable source of information when it comes to this thought?

·         What are the odds that this thought is true? Am I overestimating the likelihood that this thought is true? Am I overestimating the odds that something bad will happen?

·         Are my judgments based on feelings rather than facts?

·         In what way might I be focused on irrelevant factors? 

·         What are the costs and benefits of this thought? 

·         How might I arrive at similar benefits with different thoughts?