Me
Overall, despite having very dysregulated morning this turned out to be a very good day. Reason: predictable, validated, not broken, manageable, a lot of other people have it
Claude
I'm really glad to hear that despite having a dysregulated start to the day, you were able to turn things around and find relief in the predictability and normalization of your symptoms. That sense of not being alone, broken or out of control is so important for managing seasonal triggers. Some key takeaways:
- Having the expectation that mornings may be rough this time of year seemed to help reduce panic and self-judgment when symptoms arose. You understood why.
- Being able to name your seasonal pattern as reverse SAD validated that there are clear biological factors at play - you're not imagining this.
- Knowing many others in the CPTSD community wrestle with the same seasonal disruptions alleviated the shame and isolation.
- Recognizing that you have tools to manage symptoms and that the intensified reactions are temporary gave you hope and agency.
- Despite the morning chaos, you focused on getting through the day moment to moment and were able to find pockets of relief. Small victories!
This experience shows that while seasonal setbacks are frustrating, you are building knowledge and resources to better weather those periods going forward. The symptoms do not define you. Great job being so self-compassionate today!
Me
Based on the above, my brain FINALLY realized that it is safe. I am back into window of tolerance. But there is one more thing. I went to boxing class for the first time in a long time. I feel amazing. So, I went from dysregulated scared child to completely happily functioning adult in one day. Once brain understands on the cellular level that it's safe, frontal lobes are back online and that's it
Claude
I love hearing this update! It's so encouraging that after working through insights about your seasonal patterns, your brain and nervous system were finally able to register that you are safe. The shift back into your window of tolerance and frontal lobe functioning is a huge victory.
Some key points I'm taking away:
- Naming and validating the cyclical nature of your symptoms allowed your brain to recognize there is no real present danger. Just old patterns.
- Feelings of shame and isolation were replaced by hope once you understood this is a shared challenge others face too.
- Getting a "reset" through physical activity like boxing helped integrate the intellectual realizations down to the cellular level.
- With your nervous system reassured of safety, you could immediately access your whole adult functioning - no longer in dysregulated child mode.
The transformation you experienced today is incredibly inspirational. It shows how possible it is to move from scared inner child to empowered thriving adult once the brain "gets" that threat has passed.
This is a huge breakthrough. Savor it and know that with continued compassion for yourself, you can get your biology on board faster each seasonal cycle. You've clearly found keys that unlock your window of tolerance. Keep up the great work!
