TO REPRESS ANYTHING IS A CRIME

TO REPRESS ANYTHING IS A CRIME: IT CRIPPLES THE SOUL. It gives more attention to fear than to love. And that is what sin is. To take more note of fear is sin, to take more note of love is virtue. And always remember to take more note of love -- because it is through love that one reaches to higher peaks of life, to God. Out of fear, one cannot grow. Fear cripples, paralyzes: it creates hell. ALL THE PARALYZED PEOPLE -- psychologically paralyzed, spiritually paralyzed, I mean -- LIVE LIFE IN HELL. And how do they create it? The secret is that THEY LIVE IN FEAR; they only do a certain thing when there is no fear, but then there is nothing left worth doing. ALL THAT IS WORTH DOING HAS CERTAIN FEARS AROUND IT. If you fall in love, there is fear -- because you may be rejected. Fear says, 'Don't fall in love, then nobody will reject you.' That is true -- if you don't fall in love, nobody will ever reject you -- but then you will live a loveless existence, which is far worse than being rejected. AND IF ONE REJECTS YOU, SOMEBODY ELSE WILL ACCEPT YOU. The people who live out of fear think more of not committing mistakes. They don't commit any mistakes, but they don't do anything else either; their life is blank. They don't contribute anything to existence. They come, they exist -- they vegetate, rather -- and then they die. Never be afraid. TAKE RISKS AND LISTEN TO THE HEART. Even if sometimes it says to do mad things, do them! Only then will you live the life of thrill. OSHO Believing the Impossible Before Breakfast Ch #2 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

5 things we all need in a relationship

1. To be heard. We all want to be heard. It’s what makes us feel validated and important. Think about the last time you spoke with someone and they were clearly uninterested. Maybe they were looking around the room, checking the clock, or constantly glancing at their computer screen. Whatever it was they were doing, it appeared to you as if they hadn’t heard a word you said and didn’t really care about what you were saying. It’s not a nice feeling. When you’re at home having a conversation be it with your spouse, partner or kids give them you’re undivided attention when possible. Get involved in the conversation show them you are really listening and that they are being heard. 2. To be valued. It’s difficult to get excited about being in a relationship with someone when you don’t feel you are being valued. If there is a lack of respect or little regard for your contribution to the relationship it can’t flourish. Are you valuing the person you are in a relationship with? Do you include them in decision making or planning for the future? Do you recognize their contributions to the family or home? Are you open minded and willing to accept a different point of view or idea even if it’s not your own? If not, your partner is likely feeling devalued and like their opinions don’t matter. Try being more inclusive, show appreciation for the other person. A simple “thank you” when delivered in a sincere heart felt manner can go a long way. 3. To be an equal. This really ties into the need to be valued. As you enter into a relationship it’s clear that you are both individuals and bring a unique set of abilities, skills and talents to the table. A relationship without equality usually has one person trying to control the other. Equality in a relationship goes beyond splitting chores and other household responsibilities. It also includes: making decisions together as a team no one person being “the boss” having and showing respect for the other person giving space to the other person when they need it asking – not telling or barking orders 4. To be understood. To truly understand someone we must be able to empathize, be willing to take a step back, separate ourselves from our own viewpoint and try walking in the other person’s shoes. Truly listen when they are speaking and avoid getting defensive or becoming distracted by thinking of what you’re going to say in return. Spend time figuring out what makes them tick and understand why this relationship is important to them and to you. By trying to understand who you are building this relationship with you will be better equipped to make it work. 5. To feel safe. Safety in a relationship includes feeling physically safe as well as emotionally safe. Relationships don’t have to be about living in varying degrees of stress, apprehension or anxiety. Let people know that you will protect them, watch out for them and keep their best interests at heart – tell them. Let them know that you welcome them, imperfections and all and create a warm, secure place where you can just BE without judgement. There are all sorts of relationships – marriage, parent-child, neighbors, employer-employee etc. and in each one the participants have these same basic needs. If you have a strong relationship keep doing what you’re doing, don’t stop working at it since it’s all that hard work that made it so strong in the first place. Take a minute to think of the relationships in your life. Are there any that need to be mended? Are there some basic needs that aren’t being met, either by you or someone else?

4 SIMPLE MANTRAS TO HELP YOU STAY POSITIVE AND HAPPY

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Sirena Bernal “The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.” ~Swedish Proverb Mantra, according to the dictionary: Any sacred word or syllable used as an object of concentration and embodying some aspect of spiritual power. Mantra, according to Sirena: Things I say to myself to help me deal. There are times we all go through that just straight up suck. During these times, it can be hard to think about anything other than what’s going on. We can become so consumed in our own misery that we often overshadow any glimmer of hope. And although these times can seem endless while we’re in them, it’s through these crappy times that we learn the most about ourselves and receive some of life’s greatest rewards. I can only say this after going through some of my own crappy times. You know, experiencing little things like breaking up from an engagement, being unemployed, questioning my sexuality, severing several friendships, wiping through my entire savings, and accumulating way too much debt. All within the same year. Yikes. Through my own experiences of hopelessness, confusion, and doubt, I’ve learned to establish a few simple, but very effective phrases to help me stay positive and to keep things in perspective. So now, whenever things cross my path that may initially seem unbearable, or if I begin to doubt myself, I just remember and repeat some of the following mantras: 1. Keep your head up and your heart open. I repeated this phrase to myself over and over again after my aforementioned breakup. At the time, the last thing I ever wanted to do was to open myself up again. After being with the same person for over 6 years (6 years!), I quickly realized that this kind of thinking wouldn’t get me far. I trusted myself that if I just kept my head up and my heart open, good things would come into my life. And I’m glad I listened to myself. I use this phrase both literally and figuratively. By actually keeping your head up, smiling at people as they walk by, and keeping aware of your surroundings, you may notice something or meet someone that you potentially could have missed had your head been down. When to use: During a break up, when you feel let down by someone, or when you feel betrayed or mistrust. 2. Go slowly. With everything. Eating. Talking. Taking a shower. Driving. Even having sex. I noticed when I was super-stressed out about things, I had a tendency to run around like a lunatic, doing several things at once, often times having to re-track my steps because I was so distracted that I left several things out. I found that my projects, errands, and even my conversations with people became very watered down because I was rushing just to finish. Now, whenever I feel like I’m rushing to just get things done, I slow down my pace, take a deep breath, and take my time with whatever it is I am rushing to do. When we slow down, we can taste all the flavors in our food and we digest our meals better. We are better communicators when we talk slower, and we become better listeners. Accidents? They wouldn’t happen as much if we weren’t in such a rush to get somewhere. It’s quality over quantity. When to use: When you are in a rush on the highway, when you’re rushing out to get lunch, or walking around the office, when you feel pressure from deadlines, or while you’re annoyed sitting in traffic. 3. Be easy. Or in other words, don’t sweat the small stuff. I realized that most of the issues that were giving me anxiety were completely out of my control, and they were usually things that wouldn’t matter five years, five months or even five minutes from the time. Like freaking out that I didn’t have something to wear to a party, or stressing that I’d mess up choreography while teaching a class. I learned to not get so worked up over the small things, stressing about matters that, in the end, really didn’t make a difference. So, if you find yourself getting road rage from the guy that cut you off on the highway, let him be. Why get angry and stress yourself out over it? Just be easy. Did someone on the train bump you as they walked by? Who cares? The cab is packed; it wasn’t her fault. Be easy. When to use: When it’s 1 AM and you’re wide awake in bed, thinking about the next day’s to do list, when you spill on your new white tank top, or when the copy machine at work jams. Be easy. There are far worse things in life. 4. Let Sirena be Sirena (swap out my name with yours). Most of us wear masks. And most of us are afraid to be ourselves, simply out of fear of judgment. We take jobs we don’t really care for, stay in relationships we don’t genuinely love, and pretend to be someone different for everybody else. I was there—I stayed in a relationship far longer than I should have and I avoided confronting my sexuality because I was so afraid of being judged. And I’m telling you, it’s a heck of a lot easier to just be you—whatever that means, whenever, wherever. While you’re too busy making yourself appear to be someone else, you kill yourself from the inside out. And it can be a long, slow and painful death to your soul. Bottom line? Accept yourself for who you are, and just be you. This was the hardest lesson for me to accept, but the one that has given me the greatest clarity and direction in life. When to use: Times when you are questioning yourself, when you feel outside pressure to do/be/say/act in a way that is not congruent with your true nature, or when you hold back from doing what you truly want to do because you’re afraid of being judged. Since my “sabbatical” from life, which is what I’ve now jokingly nicknamed this year of despair I described earlier, I have made some dramatic and positive changes. I have a job that I absolutely love, I am on track to pay off all of my debt by the end of this year, and I have accumulated a solid amount in my savings. I’ve also re-kindled past friendships and made some awesome new relationships, while becoming grounded and confident in who I am. These mantras helped me get to this point. Having them has been an effective trick to help me stay positive and on track. What phrase does that for you? Photo by The Glowing North Stars

My overarching philosophy now is to immerse myself completely in what I’m doing at any given moment, to do only what I’ll be glad I did later, when I look back, and to always take my time.

Psychology of Mind (POM)

Psychology of Mind (POM) Psychology of Mind (POM) is a new psychological theory derived from the work of Banks (1983, 1989); Mills (1990a,b, 1993); Mills & Pransky (1993); Suarez (1985); Suarez & Mills (1982); and Suarez, Mills, & Stewart (1987). In a recent article (Kelley, 1990), the author described the principles of Psychology of Mind and revealed how virtually all forms of delinquent and criminal behavior could be explained using the logic of these principles. In additional writings (Kelley, 1993a,b,c), the author applied these same principles to prevention and early intervention programs with at-risk youth and suggested how an accurate understanding of POM could advance the field of criminology. Since these writings, the distinctions of Psychology of Mind have been clarified and simplified into three major principles: Mind, Consciousness, and Thought (Mills & Pransky, 1993). The present paper first describes the refined principles of POM and shows how their logical interaction can help explain the comparative amounts of both deviant and conforming behavior engaged in by youthful offenders.(1) Then the logic of these principles is used to examine the major assumptions of social bonding and control theory of delinquency focusing predominantly on the formulations of Walter Reckless (1956) and Travis Hirschi (1969). The Principle of Mind According to POM, mind is the source of an offender's thinking (how he interprets life), his emotions (how he feels about life), his perceptions (how things look to him), and his ability to experience his world through his senses. Practically speaking, the mind, according to POM, works like a movie projector through which an offender's thoughts are projected from the inside out to form his moment-to-moment idiosyncratic experience of life. Mills and Pransky (1993) warn of the difficulty in grasping a complete understanding of mind: It is impossible to provide an easy-to-grasp description of the mind, because mind is the source of how things look to us. As such, it generates how we think about things. It operates before our thinking. Therefore, it is impossible to intellectually have a complete picture or accurate model of the mind. Such a model would be a product of the mind's workings (p. 5). Psychology of Mind defines an offender's mind as the neutral projector of all of his thoughts. POM proposes that, left to its own devices, each offender's mind is designed to work in a healthy way, operating as a neutral force toward innate mental health, which includes a natural wisdom, intelligence, intrinsic motivation, and high self-esteem. The Principle of Consciousness According to POM, consciousness is the offender's ability to be aware of external reality. Consciousness brings an offender's thoughts to life via his senses. Through consciousness, his thoughts are converted into his experience. Consciousness would be similar to the light in an activated movie projector. Thought creates images in an offender's head. Consciousness is the faculty or the power that makes these images appear real to his senses. The mind combines consciousness with thought to produce his ongoing moment-to-moment reality. Consciousness goes where an offender's thoughts go via his senses. It always brings to light what an offender is thinking. The Principle of Thought The power of consciousness would not exist without thought, or the offender's ability to think, sourced by the mind. In the POM paradigm, mind is a constant as the source of his thinking and experience. Consciousness is also a constant, as it brings to life whatever he is thinking. Thus, according to POM, the only variable in an offender's psychological functioning is thought. If mind is the projector, and consciousness the light, then thought represents the film which comes to life when the light shines through it. Psychology of Mind defines thought as an offender's ability to create images within his own head. For all human beings, including offenders, thinking, like breathing, is a natural life function. This continuous process of thought is the source of his changing experience of life from moment to moment. Unconditioned and Conditioned Thinking POM proposes two different and observable modes of thinking by which thoughts are generated and used by all offenders. These two distinct thought processes are called original or unconditioned thought, and reactive or conditioned thought. Original, or unconditioned thought is an innate, rational, and insightful thought process. It is also the source of positive change, high mental health, perspective, common sense, and understanding. Mills and Pransky (1993) describe their recognition of this thought process: From observing the ups and downs of our clients, we concluded that there are two noticeably different processes by which thoughts are generated and used. People at times exhibited a rational, common sense, insightful thought process. This natural flow of thoughts that occur to people and simply come and go, appeared to be virtually unnoticed by most people. In that thought process, people experience insights and practical ideas about their lives. They have perspective and an intelligence that leads to understanding. They take for granted the wisdom available to them. They might make the observation that they have "nothing on their mind" because their thinking is effortless and objective. This is the thought process we refer to as "original thought." Peoples' experiences from this original thought process will be fresh, impersonal, and interesting (p. 8). According to Psychology of Mind, the original or unconditioned thought process has generally been overlooked and unacknowledged by most researchers because it is innate and ordinary. However, according to POM, original thought represents the way an offender's mind was intended to work. When engaged in this thought process, the offender learns primarily by a process of insight and realization. Once something is understood, his mind will utilize the brain's information processing, storage and retrieval mechanisms, in an objective and functional manner to store learned information in memory for later use at an appropriate time and manner. When original thought predominates, the primary process of learning is unconditioned (by insight). Mills and Pransky (1993) describe the second process, which they refer to as reactive or conditioned thought: The other thinking process, when people are actively drawing on experience or memories or attempting to apply their conditioned learning to circumstances, is what people generally describe as "thought" because it is noticeable; it requires deliberate effort. In that thought process people are working to find understanding and solutions, but they are not assessing creative ideas, objectivity, or a clearer perspective, because they are focused on what they already know, on …

When we practice mindfulness, we learn how to accept and work with difficult mind states instead of desperately trying to control them, change them, force them to be other than they are, or running to avoid or escape them

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