How do i let go of my own freedom?
If i want to be free, i am not free. Only if i don't know what freedom is, i am free.

What is frustration?
Frustration is when i reach beyond where i can reach. If i feel frustrated, i am dealing with a problem that is out of reach. Basically, it is NOT my problem. If it were my problem, i'd have the tools to deal with the problem.

What to do when i feel frustrated?
I need to make it smaller, up to the point where the problem is small enough for me to really encompass the problem. That's where i see that there is no problem at all, just a decision to make.

What is ego?
Ego is energy for which there is no usefull purpose. Edward de Bono calls this "the problem of having no problem". My mind is like a computer system: once powered on, it can not do nothing. CPU's have an instruction called NOP - No OPeration - to do "busy wait". Problems are like NOP's.

What is the purpose of my life?
When i realize that ego, frustration and problems are nothing but excuses to not face this question of what to do with my life, i do away with them. I then face this existential loneliness of not knowing what my purpose is. Again, referring to my earlier definition of frustration, i come to realize that the purpose of my life is really NOT my problem. So i make the problem smaller and smaller, until there is only the need for me to understand what it is that i do. And then i see that i really don't know. I want to know, i refuse all answers. I refuse any guru, i refuse my own answers, and i cultivate and protect my burning desire to know.

That's where i find out about my life's purpose. When nothing else works, in the face of the dark, i see that my mind has no opposite to this existential darkness. My mind is calling me for help. I see that the bliss, the connection to source, is none other than this existential loneliness. These are one and the same.

And then i see how i AM this emptiness. I am NOTHING. And from nothing, anything is possible. Finally i feel at home.