Victim Mentality

Whether we like it or not, history does repeat itself. Markets plummet, nations fight, people argue, management refuses to listen, employees refuse to engage themselves. In families, unspoken expectations abound and spoken expectations are often unmet. All these circumstances educate us to be skeptical students of life. Every day we face the effects of other people’s decisions and can do nothing about them except smile and go on. As we experience these constant torrents, little by little, the surface of our pride and worth is eroded away. We stand the temptation of becoming self-centered and defensive. We develop a victim mentality.

People are often quick to embrace the victim mentality because it removes all blame and responsibility from themselves and places it on something or someone else. We are a victim of circumstance. We are a victim of others’ decisions. “I didn’t decide this. I can’t control it. Why should I have to take the blame for it?” This exemplifies the conversation we have with others or within ourselves as we step into this existence. The danger with following this mental and emotional path is that we express a number of negative things to those around us. Because each person may perceive the same situation differently, we run the chance of showing ourselves as a liar, selfish, unengaged, individualistic, standoffish, arrogant and unconcerned about others in the same situation.

How many times do we jump into the attitude of the victim because either we don’t know about the circumstances that overtake us or we are not able to control their onset? How many times do we excuse ourselves from responsibility, liability and team membership solely because we were not part of the decision making process or were uninformed until the last moment? We have two choices when these circumstances catch us by the neck. We embrace them and work through them or we declare ourselves the victim and excuse ourselves: disgracing ourselves and forcing others to take the lead in addressing the challenge and moving forward. I would suggest that we lose more by victimizing ourselves than of facing the situation in truth and working it through for a resolution. While it’s true that taking the attitude of a victim offers us a false sense of power, control and exemption, we sacrifice our reputation in the same stroke.

http://bryanhurlbut.blogspot.com/2008/10/victim-mentality.html