Focus in Transition

VIRGO HOROSCOPE

NOVEMBER 30, 2016

Personal issues can interfere with your ability to fulfill your obligations today if you allow the stress caused by these issues to impact your ability to concentrate. Challenges linked to your domestic life can prevent you from achieving your professional goals, and work-related tension can make maintaining relationships difficult. Preventing this type of crossover contamination can be as easy as endeavoring to live in the moment. Your ability to shift your focus depending on your circumstances can help you maintain your peace of mind. The discomfort in heart and mind you may feel in one situation will likely not follow you into the next when your awareness is trained on the task at hand. Consider that few incidents you encounter today will require your immediate emotional attention. 

Keeping the mind in the moment allows us to move from situation to situation without becoming distracted by our feelings regarding a single event or circumstance. Strong emotional reactions related to one area of our lives have the power to cripple our ability to function in other areas. The ability to compartmentalize those responses helps us perform our duties and maintain a fully developed awareness without repressing our feelings. We acknowledge our emotions while also recognizing that the complexity of the average human existence demands that we be able to transition our focus between disparate circumstances. Discomfort cannot keep us from realizing our ambitions. Your willingness to turn your attention to the task at hand today will help you contain unsettled feelings until a more appropriate time. 

How to Cope with Intrusive Thoughts

·         Recognize that you may have had worry thoughts before becoming highly anxious, but they now have a magnified meaning because of your anxiety. Accept this.

·         Learn all about how adrenaline affects your anxious state. To understand is half the battle.

·         Look on this as nothing more than anxiety trickery or the bluff of anxiety.

·         Change your reaction to “no reaction”, not in the fearful sense at least. As ridiculous as it sounds, try to learn to smile at these thoughts. Know that to give them no importance can break the chain of producing yet more adrenaline, by way of the anxiety they produce.

·         Don’t fight the thoughts. Let them be there, quietly and with as much nonchalance as you can muster. Accept willingly and give them permission to be there.

·         Engage in normal activity as much as possible when you have accepted the thought. Distraction will not work alone but will merely put off the inevitably of repetition. A nod of acceptance and then moving on with activity is the best way forward. Only you will know if you are truly accepting.

·         Tell yourself that you are in control and your intrusive thoughts only mean something if you give them importance.

Helpful Reminders for Managing Panic Attacks

1. Anxiety is often driven by anticipation. Try not to indulge thoughts about what could happen. Allow your thoughts to focus on what you are doing now or where you are now. Stay out of the past and out of the future. If you "stay in the now," your anxiety level will come down. If you are anticipating upset, planning your escape, checking your watch or thinking about past "failures," your anxiety level will go up. Focus on your immediate surroundings to help you stay in the present, (e.g., colors, textures, the details of a conversation, etc.). Tell yourself: "Stay in the here-and-now." "Keep your feet on the floor." "Keep your mind where your body is." "What am I doing now? What do I need to do now?" "I'll deal with that when the time comes."

2. Accept your "first feelings" of anxiety. Don't try to fight off, control or ignore these initial feelings. You cannot make them go away and trying to do so will only make your anxiety get worse. Rate your anxiety from 1 (none) to 10 (panic) and observe that it fluctuates up and down. If you find yourself rushing, slow down. Tell yourself: "Accept--don't fight." "I can be anxious and still do this." "I will accept this anxiety and continue doing what I must." "It is okay to be anxious. It is okay not to feel in control."

3. Don't add "second fear." This is the fear associated with your anxiety, like the fear of dying, fainting, going crazy, losing control or embarrassing yourself. It often starts with sudden thoughts like "What if...?"/"Suppose...?"/"If I don't get out of here soon, I'm going to..." If you tell yourself you are in danger, your body will dutifully react as if you really are in danger and it will scare you more. Sometimes thoughts are so automatic or feelings follow them so quickly that you won't see the connections, but look for them. In time, you will become more skilled at seeing and interrupting such connections. Tell youself: "It's just what-ifing!" "I've felt like this before and the worst didn't happen." "I'm not going to (die, faint, go crazy, etc.). This is still just anxiety." "This is very uncomfortable, but it is not dangerous."

4. Accept panic when it happens. If you are having a panic attack, label it as such and remind yourself that it is self-limiting. That is, it will pass shortly on its own if you don't add second fear, don't fight it or don't try to make it go away. Try to bring on a panic attack or try to make your symptoms worse. This is the paradox: You can't do either by willing it. Truly trying to do so is a move toward acceptance and will help the feeling pass. Try to make your symptoms worse: If your heart is beating fast, make it beat faster. If your legs are weak and shaky, make them feel weaker and shakier. If your hands are sweating, make them sweat more. Tell yourself: "If I'm going to have a panic attack, let's go ahead and have it right here and now." "It is an adrenalin surge. It will pass--just accept." "Even with panic, I can do what I need to do." "What I resist persists."

5. Strive not to escape or avoid. To do so only reinforces the idea that there is something genuinely dangerous about your feelings. Always stop and consider your options, rather than making decisions based only on how you feel. Remember that it is not the place, but rather your catastrophic thought that makes you anxious. Each time you face your fears and accept your feelings is a step forward. Each time you escape or avoid is one less opportunity to take a step forward. If something you are avoiding seems too big, try to break it up into steps you can do. Remember that your recovery lies in the places, situations and anxious feelings you have fearfully avoided. Tell yourself: "It's not the place, it's the thought." "I can be here (or do this) even with panic." "I will not run or avoid--that only causes more problems." "Face the fear and the fear will disappear."  In general, be willing to have symptoms and be willing to do the opposite of what the symptoms demand of you.

6. Practice diaphragmatic breathing but take smaller breaths. To practice, lie on your back, with one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Observe the movement of your two hands as you breathe regularly. Now try to focus your breathing in your belly so that hand moves while the one on your chest stays virtually still. Allow your breathing to be calm and rhythmic rather than hurried or forced. As you breathe in this manner, allow relaxation to flow into your muscles throughout your body. Instead of "taking deep breaths" as commonly advised, try to take smaller breaths--you will still get enough oxygen and it will help to counteract the symptoms of hyperventilation that can compound panic. Once you have developed some skill with this method of breathing, try it in other positions, such as sitting or walking. Try it while you're in a conversation with someone. Eventually, practice your abdominal breathing skills when you feel anxious. Although such breathing skills usually help anxiety, the goal of such breathing is not to get rid of your symptoms. Such breathing activates the part of your nervous system that counteracts panic, may directly reduce any symptoms due to hyperventilation, gives you something to do rather than catastrophize or flee, and encourages willing acceptance of symptoms. Tell yourself: "Breathe low and slow." "Small breaths." "Breathe and accept."

7. Practice and be patient. Remember that recovery lies in changing your relationship with your anxiety and panic symptoms rather than in making them go away. Oddly, you have to be entirely willing to have them before they can begin to subside. Consider your options for practice every day. Be committed to recovery, but don't be rigid and perfectionistic. It's okay not to be perfect. Give yourself credit for small successes--don't diminish them with thoughts like "Yes, but I used to..." or "So what, anybody can..." There will be times when you feel you are no better--you may even fear that you are getting worse. Remind yourself to be patient and not to be too harsh in your judgments at any given point in time. Strive for a sense of perspective about progress over time. Recovery is accomplished in thousands of small steps, one step at a time. Do not try to control things outside yourself that are beyond your control. Nothing in your future is prevented by worry. Tell yourself: "It took time to get this way. It will take time to recover." "Each time I face the fear, I learn that I can see it through by accepting the anxiety." "It's okay to make mistakes. I'll just try not to make the same mistakes repeatedly." "I do not have to judge my progress by how bad I feel today." "I can recover just as others before me have recovered." "The more willing I am to have symptoms, the more the symptoms will subside and the more I'll get my life back."

Let me give you an analogy. Imagine your feelings are like a radio station – call it EMOTIONS 101.9. This station is rather annoying – sometimes you have depression come on, sometimes anxiety, sometimes anger or shame. So, most of the time, you don’t want to listen to it. Let me ask you – do you think this radio station has an off and on button? (At this point, most clients will say yes). Well, actually it does not. Not only does it not have an off/on button, it never did – so it’s not like it broke off – it was never there in the first place. And that is exactly what we know about emotions now – that they come and go as they please, and you cannot turn them on or off. So, with that said, the question here is: are you going to spend your time fiddling with the radio station trying to turn it off, even though it does not have an “off” button while you miss out everything that is going on around you …. Or are you going to let it play in the background while you focus on other things in your life?

What’s also interesting, is that if you do this – focus on things in your life rather then try to turn this radio station off, you’ll find that many of these emotions fade out on their own.

The other interesting thing about this analogy is this: many people get upset at themselves for feeling a certain way – for example, being mad that you let some one get to you, or feeling ashamed for being angry. Well, if your feelings are a radio have no off/on button, is there any reason to feel mad at yourself for getting mad, for example, or judging your feelings at all? If there is no “on” button, you could not have created these feelings in the first place – right?

Willingness

o    Willingness simply refers to how open you are to experiencing your own experience as

it happens – without trying to avoid it, escape it, or change it

o     It is allowing yourself to be ok with what you are feeling – because, really – what’s the alternative? First, there’s a saying: “if you are not willing to have it, you’ve got it”. Second, if you ARE willing to have a certain feeling, there’s less of a chance of you feeling bad about having this feeling (for example, getting mad at yourself for letting something get to you).

o     In fact, willingness may actually help you feel less overwhelmed, and lessen suffering because being unwilling to have our feelings, attempting to control and/or avoid them, can actually make us feel worse and increase our distress

o     Let me give you another analogy. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Well, what do you think you should do if you get caught in a riptide? (Let participants struggle with this one for a second, make a few guesses). Well, do you think you should try to swim out of it? Most people here will say yes. Well, actually, if you try to fight a riptide and try to swim out of it, you are going to drown – because you are basically remaining in the same place and wasting your energy. What you are actually supposed to do is swim into it, and let it carry you out beyond its reach. Well, feelings are like that – if you fight feelings, you will basically be remaining in the same place, but if you “swim into them” then time itself will carry out of them.

o        So, the take-home message for the entire lesson is “It is ok to FEEL your emotions – but it is not healthy to ACT on them”. Write this down on an index card and have patient carry this around. You can put this in your pocket to remind you to use willingness.

o        So, your homework will be to practice willingness as much as you can. Think about it this way – willingness is your hammer, and every situation is a nail. Record how you practice it and how successful you are on the practice sheet (show clients practice sheet). 

How to Cope with Anxiety, Remember A-W-A-R-E

The key to switching out of an anxiety state is to accept it fully. Remaining in the present and accepting your anxiety cause it to disappear.

*A:* *Accept the anxiety. *Welcome it. Don’t fight it. Replace your rejection, anger, and hatred of it with acceptance. By resisting, you’re prolonging the unpleasantness of it. Instead, flow with it. Don’t make it responsible for how you think, feel, and act.

*W:* *Watch your anxiety.* Look at it without judgment – not good, not bad. Rate it on a 0-to-10 scale and watch it go up and down.* *Be detached. Remember, you’re not your anxiety. The more you can separate yourself from the experience, the* *more you can just watch it.

*A:* *Act with the anxiety.* Act as if you aren’t anxious. Function with it. Slow down if you have to, but keep going. Breathe slowly and normally. If you run from the situation your anxiety will go down, but your fear will go up. If you stay, both your anxiety and your fear will go down.

*R:* * Repeat the steps.* Continue to accept your anxiety, watch it, and act with it until it goes down to a comfortable level. And it will. Just keep repeating these three steps: accept, watch, and act with it.

*E:* *Expect the best. *What you fear the most rarely happens. Recognize that a certain amount of anxiety is normal. By expecting future anxiety you’re putting yourself in a good position to accept it when it comes again.

*Adapted from: Anxiety Disorders and Phobias: A Cognitive Perspective, by Aaron Beck and Gary Emery*

Little-Known Secrets to Conquering your Fears and Worries

If you avoid something that makes you afraid, would that not take care of the problem?  On the contrary, avoidance fuels anxiety and obsessions. That’s because when you avoid something you fear, you do not give yourself the chance to verify if the fear is justified or unwarranted.  And yet, in the moment, avoiding or escaping from the fear is just so much easier. This is the first and most important secret to know: Avoidance fuels a vicious cycle of anxiety or fear. 

In order to overcome your fear, you must face your fear.  If you want to break the vicious cycle of anxiety, you must expose yourself to your fears.

Exposure

Exposure refers to being exposed to or facing fears to test their reality. It involves purposeful and conscious confrontation of fears. Exposure allows people to discover that their fears are usually false alarms. When the expected disastrous consequences do not materialize, the person’s belief about the fear begins to change. It is important to note the difference between facing fears and fighting fears; facing involves confronting, whereas fighting implies combat and resistance. Children may be confused when they are told to “fight” anxiety because it suggests that they should resist it with all their might. The emotional energy consumed in fighting and resisting may actually intensify anxiety. In a paradoxical way, one has to stop struggling with fears to make them go away. To understand how exposure works, one must first understand habituation.

Habituation: Natural and Automatic

Exposure has a lot in common with jumping into a cold swimming pool, turning off the lights at night or walking into a noisy train station. Sounds a bit far-fetched? Not really, because what they have in common is a process known as habituation, which is the body’s way of accommodating to new sensations. When we initially encounter a sound, heat or cold, light or dark, we experience it in all its magnitude. Over time, the sensation becomes imperceptible as our body adapts to it. We experience habituation numerous times every day without so much as a second thought. We get used to cold water, bright lights, the roar of jet planes and the rumble of trains with little conscious effort.

Contrary to popular knowledge, our bodies can habituate to anxiety, in much the same way as they do to smell, light, heat, cold or noise. We can get used to anxiety until it fades from our awareness. Habituation is a natural biological phenomenon that takes place automatically because our bodies are designed to return to equilibrium. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for preparing the body to react to threat and danger and the parasympathetic system subsequently restores it to normal resting state. In other words, anxiety simply cannot continue forever, although it may feel that way. If we did not have a built-in mechanism for resetting to equilibrium, how could we handle the cumulative effects of thousands of new threats over time?

We routinely experience habituation to anxiety, although we might not be aware of it. For example, any of us can relate to the anxiety that precedes an important meeting that is potentially unpleasant. We have experienced the desire to avoid it, because it made us uneasy, nervous or tense. Yet, the uneasiness subsided once the meeting was underway. Anxiety habituates rapidly when we confront the anxiety-provoking situation.