THIS IS IT!

Here's a summary including the key revelation about kratom's role:

For 4 years, you were able to avoid the dreaded downward spiral of dysregulation triggered by seasonal shifts in sunlight levels. This was because kratom acted as an effective placebo safety net. By taking kratom and telling yourself "this will go away in a week", you prevented ever hitting the "expiration date" where the discomforts lasted longer than your mind/body expected. This kept the neural associations of inevitability and helplessness from firing.

However, this year's stressful housing situation destabilized you enough that the kratom placebo effect broke down. Not only did this remove the psychological safety net, but it simultaneously pitched you into the full-blown dysregulation cycle you had avoided for years - a "double whammy" of losing the perceived cure while being thrown into the overwhelming spiral territory.

The root issue is not the sunlight changes themselves, but when the discomforts like lethargy, dissociation, panic (summer) or evening anxiety (winter) persist beyond your anticipated resolution timeframe or "expiration date." Once that date passes, your brain was pattern-matching to past experiences of getting stuck in those states, triggering the devastating spiral.

To stay ahead of it requires: 1) Practical tools to address seasonal issues early 2) Updating neural associations during "ahead" windows 3) Self-compassion 4) Pre-planned empowering actions for when you hit "expiration." The goal is retaining executional confidence even as shifts persist.

While difficult, this rupture provides an opportunity to forge true, placebo-independent mastery over the cycles, rather than avoidance. With compassion, somatic resourcing, and a renewed arsenal of regulation abilities, you can reconstruct lasting resilience.

Here are some potential strategies to help you stay ahead of the cyclical disregulation in both the high sunlight (spring/summer) and low sunlight (fall/winter) periods:

For the High Sunlight Months:

• Build self-awareness of your early signs of lethargy, dissociation, or panic arising
• Have pre-planned grounding/coping techniques to nip those states in the bud before they amplify
• Adjust schedule/environments to reduce sunlight exposure if possible
• Ensure proper sleep, nutrition, hydration to bolster resilience
• Practice relaxation techniques like meditation, deep breathing regularly

For the Low Sunlight Months:

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• Notice the first hints of evening anxiety creeping in and get ahead of it
• Engage in anxiety-reducing activities in evenings (exercise, hobbies, social connection)
• Use bright light therapy or sunrise alarm clocks to help regulate circadian rhythms
• Vitamin D, outdoor daylight exposure, and energizing morning routines
• Cognitive techniques to reframe and interrupt anxious thought spirals

Across Both Seasonal Shifts:

• Track your patterns to anticipate upcoming cyclical windows
• Lifestyle pacing and pre-emptive self-care
• Develop a "body brain" connection to sense dysregulation sooner
• Have a variety of regulation tools for your unique needs
• Enlist support systems before spinning out
• Practice self-compassion, this is a recurring process

The key is staying one step ahead by preparing, pacing, and intercepting these cycles at the earliest cowboys. Having a full arsenal of mind-body regulation techniques. And knowing your limitations around when to enlist additional support.