What is the irrational thinking which leads you not to let go of the uncontrollables and unchangeables in life?

• I must solve every problem that comes my way.
• Only I can solve these problems.
• If I don't solve these problems, I will be seen by others as a failure or no good.
• I need to fix all of these things perfectly and as soon as possible.
• There is no one else available who is going to help me solve these problems.
• All those people need to do is to follow what I've told them to do.
• This place would be ideal if it would only do what I want it to do.
• These things wouldn't be so bad off if they had been left to me to take care of by myself.
• They don't know what to do and they need me to tell them.
• They can't do anything right without me. If they lose or fail, it will reflect badly on me.
• What would others think if things didn't work out the way they were supposed to?
• I've only known crisis, chaos, and panic in my life so why should I expect any peace, calmness, or serenity if I leave them to take care of themselves?
• I must make everything better around here or else I'll go crazy.
• If I let go too soon, things might change and I'd be sorry for releasing them too prematurely.
• If I let go of them, I might lose them.
• If I stop trying to fix and change them, they would no longer need me and leave me.
• There must be a way to turn them around and I can't give up yet.
• What if they blame me for not taking care of them if they fail or fall flat on their faces?
• I'd rather sacrifice myself than have them blame me later for not helping them.
• They are so irresponsible they would never do it on their own.

Enduring Discomfort

Whenever we make the effort to free ourselves of an addiction or a habit we no longer need, we are often surprised to find ourselves missing the old pattern as we would a familiar friend. This sounds counterintuitive, because we think we should instinctively gravitate toward that which is good for us. And yet, it makes a lot of sense when you consider that we humans are creatures of habit. This is why we gravitate to people and places—and patterns of behavior--that make us feel comfortable. Therefore, many of the habits we form are not conscious and are based instead on learned behavior from role models who were not always making the healthiest decisions.

Most addictions begin as a way of avoiding feelings that are extremely uncomfortable, so it makes sense that stopping the addiction means, for a time, a fair amount of discomfort. The same, of course, is true of habits that we have developed over time that we are ready to release. Just knowing that this is hard, and having compassion for ourselves as we work through this process, can help us to stay the course when we feel the urge to backtrack. It’s also helpful to remember that in time we will establish new, healthier patterns, and the yearning for the old ones will disappear. Eventually, we will instinctively reach for things that are good for us, and the longing for positive change may form the basis of a new habit.

The only way to get to this new place is to endure a time of difficulty, which is a challenge we can confidently handle, if we remember that it will lead to the change we seek in our lives. Our bodies, hearts, and minds always need time to adjust to a new way of doing things, but they will adapt, and even become our allies, if we remain true to our vision of a new way.

No Need To Rush

Why don't you take the time and relax into your thoughts? Let the words come out on their own when they're ready. When you hurry your thinking you hurry your words, and soon you're talking so fast even you can't make sense out of what you're saying. The more you hurry, the less time you'll feel you have. No need to rush. Why don't you slow down a tad? No sense in overheating yourself. You'll always have enough time if you make the time. The slower you go, the sooner you'll reach your destination.

Allow Yourself To Be Bored

For most of you, your lives are so filled with stimuli, not to mention responsibilities that it’s almost impossible for you to sit still and do nothing, much less relax-even for a few minutes. What I’d like you to do is allow yourself to be bored. I’m not kidding. If you allow yourself to be bored, even for an hour-or less-and don’t fight it; the feelings of boredom will be replaced with feelings of peace. And, after a little practice, you’ll learn to relax.

At first, you might barely be able to stand it…you’ll resist. You’re so used to doing something every second that you might really struggle to relax. But after a while you’ll get used to it, and will learn to actually enjoy it. I’m not talking about hours of idle time or laziness, but simply learning the art of relaxing, of just “being,” rather than “doing,” for a few minutes each day. There isn’t a specific technique other than to consciously do nothing. FYI- if it makes you feel better, doing nothing is technically doing something. Just sit still, maybe look out the window, and notice your thoughts and feelings. At first you may get a little anxious, but each day it will get a little easier. The payback is tremendous.

Much of your anxiety and inner struggle stems from your busy, overactive mind always needing something to entertain it, something to focus on, and always wondering, “What’s next?” While you’re eating dinner you wonder what’s for dessert, you ponder what you should do afterward. After that evening, it’s “What should I do this weekend?” After you’ve been out, you walk into the house and immediately turn on the TV, pick up the phone, open a book, or start cleaning. It’s almost as though you’re frightened at the thought of not having something to do, even for a minute.

The beauty of doing nothing is that it teaches you to clear your mind and relax. It allows your mind the freedom to “not know,” for a brief period of time. Just like your body, your mind needs an occasional break from its hectic routine. When you allow your mind to take a break, it comes back stronger, sharper, more focused and creative.

When you allow yourself to be bored, it takes an enormous amount of pressure off you to be performing and doing something every second of every day.

The Law Of The Garbage Truck

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don' t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't, that they see the wisdom of their foolish ways. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Emotional Acceptance

It is not always easy to understand our emotions and how they can be different from day to day, hour to hour. Some days it is a struggle and other days it can be a breeze. Even the most positive of people can, at times feel anxious or even depression.

The first step is to accept that it is normal to have fluctuating emotions and then if the balance is starting to be weighted in favor of negative emotions, it could be time to look at new strategies to make positive changes.

The Power of Negative Thinking

For some reason, most people find it easier to think in a negative way than in a positive manner. It seems that some effort is needed to think positive thoughts, whereas negative thoughts come easily and uninvited. This has much to do with education and the environment one has been living in.

In order to understand how positive thinking works, and how to use it efficiently, it is important to understand the power of negative thinking.

If you have been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere, where people value success and self-improvement, then it will be easier for you to think positively and expect success. If you have been brought up under poor or difficult situations, you will probably go on expecting difficulties and failure.

From an early age people let outside influences shape their minds. They view everything through their predominant mental attitude. If their thoughts are positive, that is fine, but if they are negative, their lives and circumstances will probably mirror these thoughts.

If you believe that you are going to fail, you will unconsciously sabotage every opportunity to succeed. If you are afraid of meeting new people or having close relationships, you will do everything to avoid people and relationships, and then complain that you are lonely and nobody loves you.

Do you often think about difficulties, failure and disasters? Do you keep thinking about the negative news you have seen on the TV or read in the newspapers?

Do you see yourself stuck and unable to improve your life or your health? Do you frequently think that you do not deserve happiness or money, or that it is too difficult to get them? If you do, then you will close your mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such ways, as to repel people and opportunities. You let the power of negative thinking rule your life.

The mind does not usually judge or examine thoughts and opinions before accepting them. If what it hears, sees and reads is always negative, it accepts this as the standard way of thinking and behavior.

The media constantly bombards the mind with a lot of information about disasters, catastrophes, wars and other negative happenings. This information sinks into the subconscious mind, and let the power of negative thinking grow. By occupying the mind with negative thoughts and expectations one radiate negative energy into the surrounding world, thus creating and recreating more negativity, failures and disasters.

The mind can be directed towards positive thinking or negative thinking. The power of thoughts is a neutral power. The way one thinks determines whether the results are positive and beneficial or negative and harmful. It is the same of energy acting in different ways.

Persistent inner work can change habits of thoughts. You must be willing to put energy and time to avoid negative thinking and pursue positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude.

Decide that from today, from this very moment, you are leaving negative thinking behind, and starting on the way towards positive thinking and behavior. It is never too late. Soon your life will turn into a fascinating, wonderful journey.

About the Author

www.successconsciousness.com

Remez Sasson writes and teaches about spiritual growth, meditation, positive thinking, creative visualization and mind power, and issues a biweekly ezine, “Consciousness and Success”.He is the author of two books, “Will power and Self-Discipline” and “Visualize and Achieve”, and has plans for more. His website “Success Consciousness”, offers many of his inspiring, practical and informative articles