Rules For Mental Health

В рамках такого подхода могут быть выделены следующие критерии
психического здоровья:
1. Интерес к самому себе. Чувствительный и эмоционально здоровый
человек ставит свои интересы чуть выше интересов других, жертвует собой в
некоторой степени ради тех, о ком заботится, но не полностью.
<На чужом несчастье своего счастья не построить. Осчастливив другого
человека, можно и для себя счастье построить.>
2. Общественный интерес. Если человек поступает безнравственно, то
маловероятно, что он построит себе мир, в котором сможет жить уютно и
счастливо.
<Как ты отнесешься к окружающим, так и окружающие отнесутся к тебе.
Уютные отношения - счастливая жизнь!>
3. Самоуправление (самоконтроль). Способность брать на себя
ответственность за свою жизнь и одновременно стремление к объединению с
другими без требования значительной поддержки.
<Управляй своими желаниями, иначе придется способствовать процессам
пищеварения твоих недругов.>
4. Высокая фрустрационная устойчивость. Предоставление права себе и
другим совершать ошибки без осуждения своей личности или личности другого.
<Правом на ошибку обладает каждый. Смотри без осуждения на дела свои.
Критика должна быть конструктивна и давать повод для улучшения твоих
достижений.>
5. Гибкость. Пластичность мысли, открытость изменениям не ставит себе
и другим жестких неизменных правил.
<Гибкость гарантирует долгие годы спокойной жизни.>
6. Принятие неопределенности. Мы живем в мире вероятностей и случая,
в котором никогда не будет существовать полной определенности.
<Никогда не знаешь, что случится с тем местом, куда ты идёшь.>
7. Ориентация на творческие планы. Творческие интересы занимают
большую часть существования человека и требуют вовлеченности. Они
позволяют достичь психического равновесия и получить более полное
удовлетворение от жизни.
<Творчество - гарантия психического здоровья.>
8. Научное мышление. Стремление быть более объективным, рациональным.
Регуляция своих чувств и действий посредством реагирования и оценивания их
последствий в соответствии со степенью влияния на достижение близких и
далеких целей.
<Чтобы меньше работать руками, нужно больше думать головой.>
9. Принятие самого себя. Я люблю себя только за то, что живу и имею
возможность радоваться. Отказ от оценки своей внутренней ценности по
внешним достижениям или под влиянием оценки других. Стремление скорее
радоваться жизни, чем утверждать себя.
<Люби себя таким, какой ты есть. Ищи радости в жизни, познавай любовь
и будешь счастливым человеком.>
10. Риск. Эмоционально здоровый человек склонен рисковать оправданно
и стремится делать то, чего он хочет, даже когда существует возможность
неудачи. Стремление быть предприимчивым, но не безрассудно храбрым.
<Кто не рискует, тот дружит с неудачей.>
11. Длительный гедонизм. Поиск удовольствия как в настоящем, так и в
возможном будущем. Человек считает, что лучше думать как о сегодняшнем
дне, так и о завтрашнем, и не одержим немедленным получением
удовлетворения.
<Хочешь завтра хорошо жить, работай сегодня, но не забывай себя
хорошо кормить.>
12. Нон-утопизм. Отказ от нереалистичного стремления к
всеохватывающему счастью, радости, совершенству или к полному исключению
тревоги, депрессии, враждебности.
<Жизнь не может быть только белой или черной. Она серая, так как
сочетает в себе и то, и другое.>
13. Ответственность за свои эмоциональные нарушения. Склонность
принимать большую часть ответственности за свои нарушения, а не стремление
с целью защиты обвинять других или социальные условия.

Personal Mastery

Personal mastery does not come easily, quickly, or even naturally.

Harmful Voices

Whether a person is aware of it or not, he is assaulted constantly by misleading and hostile voices within the mind. They speak both through you and to you. Everyone is their target, but because of their extreme cunning, few people ever detect and dismiss them. So the only problem is a lack of information about these foreign voices. The curing facts are as close as your desire for them.

It is extremely important for you to remember the following truth: these hurtful voices ARE NOT you, and they do not belong to you, but merely speak through your psychic system. Don't take them as being your own voices, any more than you take radio voices as being your
own. They simply USE unaware human beings. Your true nature has nothing to do with them. When finally dismissing these sinister speakers you make room for spiritual health and true life.

Drop Artificial Self

Here is what you're going to start to do right now here in the talk. You are to catch yourself behaving in an artificial manner. You're to catch yourself red-handed in the act of thinking, saying, feeling, reacting with something that you recognize you picked up from someone, somewhere else. You're to know that while you're listening here this morning that you don't even have your own reactions.

~Vernon Howard

Relationship To Reality

Your problems arise when you think about things the way you want to think about things regardless of their relationship to reality.

~Vernon Howard

No Use Fretting Over Gold, Beauty or Fame

No use fretting over gold, beauty or fame;
Nurturing these, how can we calm
Our fluttering heart?
Non attachment brings deep truth,
And a truthful nature brings immortality.
Empty your heart,
Sit quietly on a mat.
In meditation we become one with All;
Tao billows like the vapors
In a mountain valley,
And its supernatural power wafts into our soul.

~Loy Ching-Yuen

To Know Tao

To know Tao
meditate
and still the mind.
Knowledge comes with perseverance.

The Way is neither full nor empty;
a modest and quiet nature understands this.
The empty vessel, the uncarved block;
nothing is more mysterious.

When enlightenment arrives
don't talk too much about it;
just live it in your own way.
With humility and depth, rewards come naturally.

The fragrance of blossoms soon passes;
the ripeness of fruit is gone in a twinkling.
Our time in this world is so short,
better to avoid regret:
Miss no opportunity to savor the ineffable.

Like a golden beacon signaling on a moonless night,
Tao guides our passage through this transitory realm.
In moments of darkness and pain
remember all is cyclical.
Sit quietly behind your wooden door:
Spring will come again.

~Loy Ching-Yuen

Fear Is Greatest Illusion

There is no greater illusion than fear,
no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself,
no greater misfortune than having an enemy.

Whoever can see through all fear
will always be safe.

~Tao Te Ching

Tao Te Ching

Be careful as crossing frozen water, alert as a Warrior on enemy ground. Be as courteous as a Guest, as fluid as a Stream. Be as shapeable as a block of wood, as receptive as glass. Don’t seek and don’t expect. Be patient and wait until your mud settles and your water is clear.

Act without doing, work without effort, think of the large as small and the many as few. Confront the difficult while it is easy, accomplish the great one step at a time. Don’t reach and you will find, if you run into trouble throw yourself toward it. Don’t cling to comfort and everything will be comfortable.

Failure is an opportunity. If you blame others, this is no end to blame. Fulfill your obligations, correct your mistakes. Do what you need to do and step away. Demand nothing and give all.

~Tao Te Ching

Life Is Easy

Life is easy,
yet people prefer the side paths.
Be aware when things are out of balance.
Stay centered within

The Supreme Virutes

Can you coax your mind from its wandering and keep to the original oneness?
Can you let your body become supple as a newborn child's?
Can you cleanse your inner vision until you see nothing but the light?
Can you love people and lead them without imposing your will?
Can you deal with the most vital matters by letting events take their course?
Can you step back from you own mind and thus understand all things?

Giving birth and nourishing, having without possessing, acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:

this is the supreme virtue.

~Tao Te Ching

Worrying

If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?

~Shantideva

Get Broken. Regenerate. Resurrect.

Taking A Break From What You Are Doing

Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we wind up going round in round in circles, finding it difficult to concentrate on things and, because we are so distracted, not really accomplishing much. There may be signals—mental, emotional, and physical—that tell us we need to slow down and relax. Since we are so involved in things that are external to us, however, we may easily overlook what is really going on inside of us. It is during these times that we need to step back from the things that occupy our minds and take time out to connect with our inner self, giving our minds, bodies, and spirits the time they need to re-energize and heal.

At first it may seem that by taking a break we may not be as productive as we would initially like. In reality, a healthy period of rest is something that gives us a real sense of the unlimited nature of our true potential. Spending a couple of minutes walking outside, doing a few yoga poses, meditating, or simply becoming attuned to the rising and falling of our breath enables us to let go of our worries. This act brings our focus back to the things that are truly essential for us, such as our sense of oneness with the universe and our inner peace and well-being. As we begin to get in touch with this part of ourselves, we will find that our usual everyday troubles and worries become less critical and that we not only have much more room in our lives to really reflect on the issues that mean the most to us, but we are also able bring to all the situations we encounter a much more positive and healthy outlook.

Giving ourselves respite from our daily concerns is like giving a gift to ourselves. By stepping away from the problems that seem to saturate our thoughts, we lessen the weight of our troubles and instead become more receptive to the wisdom and answers the universe has to offer us.

Prisoners Of Our Thoughts

1. Exercise the freedom to choose your attitude-in all situations, no matter how desperate they may appear or actually be, you always have the ultimate freedom to choose your attitude
2. Realize your will to meaning-commit authentically to meaningful values and goals that only you can actualize and fulfill.
3. Detect the meaning of life's moments-only you can answer for your own life by detecting the meaning at any given moment and assuming responsibility for weaving your unique tapestry of existence.
4. Don't work against yourself-avoid becoming so obsessed with or fixated on an intent or outcome that you actually work against the desired result.
5. Look at yourself from a distance-only human beings possess the capacity to look at themselves out of some perspective or distance, including the uniquely human trait known as your "sense of humor."
6. Shift your focus of attention-deflect your attention from the problem situation to something else and build your coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and change.
7. Extend beyond yourself-manifest the human spirit at work by relating and being directed to something more than yourself.

"All human beings, Frankl would say, ultimately have both the freedom and responsibility to position themselves along two key dimensions of life," writes Pattakos. These two key dimensions are success-failure and despair-meaning. Where are you right now in this continuum? Are you where you want to be?
"There is something in us that can rise above and beyond everything we think possible. Our instinct for meaning, at work and in our daily life, is ours right now, at this very moment. As long as we are not a prisoner of our thoughts," concludes Pattakos.

Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather recognize that it is he who is being asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and only he can answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.
Viktor Frankl

Man's Search for Meaning

• "We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

• "Nietzsche's words, 'He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.'"

• "When we are no longer able to change a situation—just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer—we are challenged to change ourselves"

• "Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him - mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp."
  

• "We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by doing a deed; (2) by experiencing a value; and (3) by suffering."

• "It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual."

• "Man is capable of changing the world for the better if possible, and of changing himself for the better if necessary."

• "Set me like a seal upon thy heart, love is as strong as death." (Cf. Song of Solomon 8:6)

~Viktor Frankl Man's Search for Meaning

Conversations In Our Head

We’re having conversations in our heads all the time. A client once compared his mind to a gerbil running on a wheel in its cage – feet working furiously, but not getting anywhere. It’s an apt comparison. Like the gerbil, our minds love to be busy. In the absence of other information, our minds sometimes fill themselves with worries, doubts or fears. Our mind is constantly looking for the worst-case scenario.

I think this pattern originates in childhood. As kids we were constantly facing new situations, and we risked embarrassment or injury if we didn’t respond skillfully. So we become vigilant – maybe too much so. (You can imagine that this might be even more the case for young gay kids who are worried that being found out in a hostile situation could be quite dangerous.) So our minds get busy with a sort of self-conscious “brainstorming.”

Like many other things, this may serve a purpose at one time early in our lifetimes, but we overdo it or outgrow it. The voice that started off warning us about potential danger becomes hyper-vigilant and is always looking for danger – sometimes seeing it when it’s not actually there.

Other voices join the conversation. One might be an internalization of the critical voices of parents, teachers, coaches and others. The voice morphs into an all-purpose critic that is never satisfied and never gives us a break. Another voice might be a response to this: a sort of defiant “inner child” that rebels against the parent. It’s like having a committee meeting in your head.

These voices have a lot in common. They tend to shout at us rather than whisper. They often give bad advice. And sometimes they all want to talk at the same time! We become paralyzed by our self-consciousness like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car. Maybe it happens at work when we’re called on to make an important presentation. We’re too distracted by our internal conversation to figure out how to respond. What to do?

First, take a breath. Calm yourself. Let your mind become clearer. Remember that thoughts are just thoughts and worries are just worries; they aren’t reality. This practice mirrors what Buddhists call non-attachment. When your mind is clear you are no longer distracted, a prisoner of fears you can do nothing about. You have more freedom and can make better choices, rather than simply trying to buy off your internal critic.

Think of creating an internal supporter to sit at the committee table. Unlike your critic (who spends all his time looking for ways that you’re screwing up), this voice is one of encouragement. He might say: Hey, you’ve been here before. You know what to do. Don’t listen to those other guys!

Living and Thoughts

When you are living inside your thoughts and are not in control of the process you are swept away with the wave of your thinking process. Raising your consciousness means you are standing on the beach watching the waves of thought go by and you only jump into the 'water' when you want to. It becomes your choice!

~Aymen Fares

Stay Connected With The Source

Staying connected with the Source means being connected all the time, irrespective of whether one is enjoying pleasure or suffering pain in the moment. It is the peace of mind which the human being perpetually wants as ‘happiness’.

Paying too much attention to the pleasure and pain of the moment is what disconnects us from the Source, what separates ‘Me’ from the ‘I’, the identified consciousness from the Impersonal Consciousness, and thus makes us lose our peace of mind. It is the ‘thinking mind’ concerned with the fears, hopes and ambitions of the illusory future, that brings about the separation leading to the loss of the peace of mind. It is the ‘thinking mind’ which disturbs the ‘working mind’ concerned only with doing the job at hand in moment as efficiently as possible.

In order to remember what Advaita Vedanta tells us – We are THAT Source and not ‘this’ body-mind organism – all that one needs to do is remember, never to be unaware of the fact, that while it is ‘this’ which has to do whatever is necessary in the prevailing situation, as a part of the mechanism of daily living, it is always THAT which is the functioning element in any action in ‘this’ body-mind organism. And, it is always the will of THAT which prevails all the time. How can we ever forget the relation between ‘THAT-I’ and ‘this me’?

~- Ramesh Balsekar

Boredom

Boredom is the refusal to accept the What Is and not have the energy to do anything about it.

A restless, frisky mind wants Something Else, not This. But at that moment it is mired in mental inertia which prevents it from being motivated enough to go out there and change the What Is.

The minute the action happens, Boredom transforms into Restless (often Pointless) Activity.

Accept What Is

How We Get Disconnected From The Source

The purpose of life is to remain connected to the Self, the Source. You are connected to the Self when you do whatever you feel like doing in a given situation, without any regrets about the past, without any complaints about the present, and without any expectations in the future.

You get disconnected as soon as you blame and condemn anyone for anything – either yourself or the other. As soon as there is awareness of this fact, without any recrimination, you get reconnected.

You get disconnected when you pursue a preference or desire, and you remain disconnected during the entire process. Your sudden awareness of what had happened reconnects you with the Self.

You get disconnected when your thinking mind asks useless questions and gets you involved into conceptualizing and objectivizing. A sudden awareness of this fact gets you reconnected to the Self.

You get disconnected when a psychological pain, instead of remaining in the present moment, drags itself into horizontal involvement – like grief, turning into mourning. A sudden realization of this fact restores the connection.

Anything that lets your mind stray away from the present moment, into conceptualizing makes you disconnected. A sudden awareness of this fact restores the connection.

As the understanding deepens, the frequency and intensity of the disconnection gets gradually reduced until it finally stops altogether: awakening has developed into deliverance.

~Ramesh Balsekar

Patience to Wait

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

~Lao-Tzu

We have all the answers we need inside of ourselves; we just have to access them.

— Учись, брат, барьеры брать!
Держись, мой мальчик: на свете
Два раза не умирать.
Ничто нас в жизни не может
Вышибить из седла!—
Такая уж поговорка
У майора была.

~Константин Симонов

If you get the dirty end of the stick, sharpen it and turn it into a useful tool

Intelligent people know others. Enlightened people know themselves.

Embrace simplicity. Put others first. Desire little.

No disaster is worse than being discontented.

Success is as dangerous as failure, and we are often our own worst enemy.

When you have accomplished your goal simply walk away. This is the path way to Heaven

Quiet your mind and stop judging and resisting and manipulating the natural way.

Can you love or guide someone without any kind of expectation?

Nurture the spontaneous peaceful life.

Don't impose your will through manipulation of aggressive emotions and actions

Approach your own inner life with a loving quality that accepts who you are without trying to change who you are.

If you worry more for others' beliefs, then you will be their slave.

There is no greater transgression than condoning peoples selfish desires, no greater disaster than being discontent, and no greater retribution than for greed.

Rule your mind with serenity rather than with force and manipulation.

~Lao Tzu

Life

Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated.

~ Confucius

Become Deliberately Available And Unavailable

Therein lies the secret of great hunters. To be available and unavailable at the precise turn of the road. You must learn to become deliberately available and unavailable. As your life goes now, you are unwittingly available at all times. To be unavailable does not mean to hide or to be secretive but to be inaccessible. It makes no difference to hide if everyone knows that you are hiding. We are fools, all of us, and you cannot be different. At one time in my life I, like you, made myself available over and over again until there was nothing of me left for anything except perhaps crying. And that I did, just like yourself. You must take yourself away. You must retrieve yourself from the middle of the road. Your whole being is there, thus it is of no use to hide; you would only imagine that you are hidden. Being in the middle of the road means that everyone passing by watches your comings and goings. The art of a hunter is to become inaccessible. To be inaccessible means that you touch the world around you sparingly. You don't expose yourself to the power of the wind unless it is mandatory. You don't use and squeeze people until they have shriveled to nothing, especially the people you love. To be unavailable means that you deliberately avoid exhausting yourself and others. It means that you are not hungry and desperate. A hunter knows he will lure game into his traps over and over again, so he doesn't worry. To worry is to become accessible, unwittingly accessible. And once you worry you cling to anything out of desperation; and once you cling you are bound to get exhausted or to exhaust whoever or whatever you are clinging to. I've told you already that to be inaccessible does not mean to hide or to be secretive. It doesn't mean that you cannot deal with people either. A hunter uses his world sparingly and with tenderness regardless of whether the world might be things, or plants, or animals, or people, or power. A hunter deals intimately with his world and yet he is inaccessible to that same world. He is inaccessible because he's not squeezing his world out of shape. He taps it lightly, stays for as long as he needs to, and then swiftly moves away leaving hardly a mark.

~Don Juan

Mind vs. Spirit

I know your difficulty. You're trying to do with the mind what must be done with the Spirit.

~Vernon Howard

Refusal To Fear It

One thing that discourages anxiety from attacking is your calm refusal to fear it.

~Vernon Howard

Observe Them And Let Them Go

When other thoughts come into your mind (and they most definitely will come) simply observe them and let them go – without judging them. This is a key to mindfulness - rather than getting caught up in these thoughts or berating yourself for having distracting thoughts, it is important to be an impartial observer of the thoughts flowing through your mind. Remember… observe the thoughts and let them go.

Just Flow

Absolutely nothing in life is an enemy which must be battled, rather, everything is a natural flow which invites you to flow with it

~Vernon Howard

Self-Transformation

Self-transformation comes by enduring an inner storm consciously. This means you must stand aside as an impartial observer instead of just being the storm.

~Vernon Howard

Referencing The Self

Building up a stronger belief in yourself might help you make decisions because they are the right choices for you rather than because they will impress others or be in agreement with their way of thinking. You might want to take time to affirm your self-worth and focus on your strengths. The better you feel about yourself, the less you will worry about what others think. You can then make the decisions that are best for you.

Having a strong belief in ourselves gives us the confidence to not let the opinions of others sway us when we make decisions. While it is natural to want to have others affirm or agree with our choices, basing our choices on other people’s reactions is not always the wisest approach to take. If we can practice being self-referential, we will develop a stronger sense of self. We begin to trust our instincts more and make decisions based on what works best for us instead of on what others may think. The approval we receive from others regarding our choices becomes a nice acknowledgment of what we already know to be true. Believe in yourself and your ability to do what is right for you, and you can trust that you are making the right choices regardless of what anyone else says to you.

Unruffled And Calm Mind

The mind that remains unruffled and calm is the same imperturbable, unattached and unfettered mind. It is the ultimate mind of mastery, achievable only through rigorous training, and equally rigorous soul-searching and spirit-forging through the confrontation and overcoming of our own fears and weaknesses.

How achieve this? The same way as we do the bigger filters: simply letting the thoughts float by. Recognizing when the ego wants to grab onto those thoughts. Refusing to let it. It takes practice and patience. You don’t have to remove it entirely. Recognizing it will make it much easier to keep control, and when you do, your whole life will be changed.

Self-Confidence

A healthy self-esteem comes from an unconditional acceptance of yourself. You have to learn how to love yourself for who you are, and to be kind to yourself. You have to learn to appreciate yourself.

Instead of picking out your flaws, pick your strengths. Instead of going through the daily cycle of beating yourself up, set a routine where you would tell yourself ten things you like about yourself. Do not be your own worst enemy. Become your own best friend. Love yourself for who you are.

Do not depend for anyone to love you first. If you think you can wait around forever to have someone love you, don't believe that for a second. To be lovable, you have to love yourself. You have to be secure in your being, in your existence. Longing for others to love you first creates a climate of wanting and longing that people sense. It comes across as desperation, one of the inverses of self-confidence. So scrap that part of you. Practice appreciating yourself, cultivate your love for yourself, and wean yourself from the addiction to approval by approving of yourself first.

Don’t just second-guess your plans. Trust in your abilities and the fact that you can bounce back from any situation. That’s already a big bonus. An even bigger plus for you is when you actually follow your dreams and achieve your goals, which would even make you feel confident that you can do anything.