SELF-ENCOURAGEMENT
REALITY STATEMENTS
FOR INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
1. It is OK to want or need something from someone else.
2. I have a choice to ask someone for what I want or need.
3. I can stand it if I don’t get what I want or need.
4. The fact that someone says no to my request doesn't mean I should not have asked in
the first place.
5. If I didn't get my objectives, that doesn't meant I didn't go about it in a skillful way.
6. Standing up for myself over “small” things can be just as important as “big” things are
to others.
7. I can insist upon my rights and still be a good person.
8. I sometimes have a right to assert myself, even though I may inconvenience others.
9. The fact that other people might not be assertive doesn't mean that I shouldn't be.
10. I can understand and validate another person, and still ask for what I want.
11. There is no law that says other people’s opinions are more valid than mine.
12. I may want to please people I care about, but I don’t have to please them all the time.
13. Giving, giving, giving is not the be-all of life. I am an important person in this world,
too.
14. If I refuse to do a favor for people, that doesn't mean I don’t like them. They will
probably understand that, too.
15. I am under no obligation to say yes to people simply because they ask a favor of me.
16. The fact that I say no to someone does not make me a selfish person.
17. If I say no to people and they get angry, that does not mean that I should have said yes.
18. I can still feel good about myself, even though someone else is annoyed with me.