12. Subjugation

12. Subjugation

Excessive surrendering of control to others because one feels coerced—submitting in
order to avoid anger, retaliation, or abandonment. The two major forms of subjugation
are:

A. Subjugation of needs: Suppression of one’s preferences, decisions, and desires.

B. Subjugation of emotions: Suppression of emotions, especially anger.
Usually involves the perception that one’s own desires, opinions, and feelings are
not valid or important to others. Frequently presents as excessive compliance, combined
with hypersensitivity to feeling trapped. Generally leads to a buildup of anger, manifested
in maladaptive symptoms (e.g., passive–aggressive behavior, uncontrolled outbursts of
temper, psychosomatic symptoms, withdrawal of affection, “acting out,” substance
abuse).

The thing about schemas is that they are in a lot of ways connected. So even though it appears that you have a lot. The fact is that correcting one often leads to the correction of others. For example the defectiveness/shame schema is quite often at the heart of most other schemas. So when you feel healthy, competent and good inside, then you might automatically start thinking and acting more positively and be less inclined to allow others to take advantage of you which would relate to the subjugation and self sacrifice schemas as well. By doing this, others schemas are also resolved. So don't be discouraged. It’s not as difficult as it seems. Be persistent, curious, and remember to take action. And before you know it you will be making so much progress you will never want to go back.

Be willing to take reasonable risks

Be willing to take reasonable risks

Human beings, by nature, seek safety, predictability, and freedom from fear. But humans also pursue risk. A totally secure life would be a boring one. To grow as a person and improve your quality of life means being prepared to take some chances.

What we are talking about is a willingness to take sensible risks in order to get more out of life and avoid the distress of boredom, listlessness and dissatisfaction. Here are some example areas of risk-taking that relate to increasing your discomfort-tolerance:

• Learning new things which may challenge existing beliefs.
• Tackling tasks which have no guarantee of success.
• Trying new relationships.
• Doing things that risk the disapproval of other people.

Here are some suggestions for increasing your willingness to take risks:

• Exposure is a key technique for practising risk-taking. Develop a list of things you would like to try, such as:
  - Asking someone for something - like a date or favour - where there is a chance of rejection.
  - Doing something where there is a chance others will disapprove - for example, speaking up and telling a group of people what you think.
  - Trying something where there is no guarantee of success.
• Put one item a day into practice. As you do so, remind yourself that the discomfort involved is not intolerable, and that staying with it will gradually increase your tolerance.
• You can prepare yourself for taking risks and cope with the discomfort involved using rational self-analysis, coping rehearsal, the blow-up technique, and role-playing.

ACT

1. Confront the situation that evokes the psychological problem, either in vivo or by talking, thinking, or writing about it.

2. Experience the inappropriate emotions.

3. Clarify and understand these emotions.

4. Do not act in accordance with these emotions.

5. Identify and change the associated dysfunctional cognitions.

6. Each time this process is repeated, the dysfunctional schema weakens.


http://www.nj-act.org/spett.html

The goal of Schema Therapy is to help patients get their core emotional needs met. Key steps in accomplishing this involve learning how to:

• Stop using maladaptive coping styles and modes that block contact with feelings
• Heal schemas and vulnerable modes through getting needs met in and outside of the therapeutic relationship
• Incorporate reasonable limits for angry, impulsive or overcompensating schemas and modes
• Fight punitive, overly critical or demanding schemas and modes
• Build healthy schemas and modes

Part of spiritual awakening is the ability to recognize what no longer serves, honor the time it did serve by recognizing what we learned from it, and release it as we move toward more healthy expression. 

SUBJUGATION 2

SUBJUGATION

● Your negative expectations about the consequences of expressing your needs and feelings to significant others are exaggerated—you need to learn that you are acting in a healthy manner when you express your needs and feelings appropriately

● using imagery and/or a writing exercise to express anger and assert your rights with the controlling parent or other authority figure—expressing anger is crucial (anger is not purely for ventilation, but to feel empowerment to stand up for yourself)

● It is vital to select relatively non-controlling partners and friends

● Assertiveness techniques can help you learn to assert your needs and feelings with others—you can work to individuate from others

● You need to identify your natural inclinations and practice acting on them—use imagery and role-play, and then express these preferences for real as a homework assignment.

SUBJUGATION

SUBJUGATION: Excessive surrendering of control to others because one feels coerced — usually to
avoid anger, retaliation, or abandonment. The two major forms of subjugation are:

a. Subjugation of Needs: Suppression of one’s preferences, decisions, and desires.
b. Subjugation of Emotions: Suppression of emotional expression, especially anger.
Usually involves the perception that one's own desires, opinions, and feelings are not valid or
important to others. Frequently presents as excessive compliance, combined with hypersensitivity
to feeling trapped. Generally leads to a build up of anger, manifested in maladaptive symptoms
(e.g., passive-aggressive behavior, uncontrolled outbursts of temper, psychosomatic symptoms,
withdrawal of affection, "acting out", and substance abuse)