"I respect myself when I have the courage to overcome my doubts and fears, and risk painful failure, conflict, and rejection by confronting some scary person or challenge."

“I feel really good about myself when I consistently fulfill my responsibilities to others and myself thoroughly, honestly, to the best of my abilities.”

"I respect myself when I know my limits, rights, and boundaries, assert them clearly, and can say 'No' without major shame, guilt, or anxiety."

“I appreciate the way I creatively balance work, play, and rest most days, and take consistent care of my health and security in effective ways.”

"I'm pleased with myself when I use my talents to benefit other people, without getting egotistical, self-neglectful, or codependent."

"I admire myself when IS can defer short term pleasure for long-term satisfaction."

"I like being Me most when I act on my beliefs and values (my integrity) even if it upsets 

other people and risks their disapproval and rejection."

"I respect myself when I admit my mistakes promptly, apologize to others if I've hurt them, and try to learn from my errors."

"I like that I'm usually genuine with other people - I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not."

Gremlin Tricks

Gremlin Tricks

Trick #1 - Scary thoughts should be taken seriously!

Counter-Strategy: I can accept all thoughts—they’re just thoughts and fighting them only helps Gremlin to get stronger. I can choose to behave based on my goals and values and not my automatic thoughts.

Trick #2 - You must be absolutely certain!

Counter-Strategy: Nothing is 100% certain…Trying to be absolutely certain only helps Gremlin… Uncertainty does not equal “bad”, it just means I don’t know…Just because I don’t know what the weather will be tomorrow, it doesn’t mean it will be a catastrophic hurricane…It’s normal and ok to be uncertain…Maybe the outcome will positive…If I seek out uncertainty, rather than avoid it, I can build up my uncertainty-tolerance.

Trick #3 - Discomfort is dangerous and should be avoided!

Counter-Strategy: Discomfort does not equal danger or damage, it’s just discomfort… Panic attacks are unpleasant, but not dangerous…It is ok to feel what I feel and choose what to do based on my life goals and values. I can build up my Gremlin-tolerance if I seek out and accept uncomfortable situations and feelings.

Trick #4 - If something feels dangerous than it is!

Counter-Strategy: That’s emotional reasoning…I won’t fall for that trick…Just because something feels dangerous doesn’t mean that it is dangerous…“Because it feels that way” is NOT real evidence…I can accept that this feels dangerous without overreacting.

Trick #5 - Perfection should be achieved!

Counter-Strategy: Nothing or no one is perfect. Trying to be or feel perfect always fails and helps only Gremlin! Instead of demanding perfection of myself, I’ll choose to seek out and accept imperfections!

Trick #6 - Anxious thoughts and feelings should be struggled against!

Counter-Strategy: Bring it on! Fighting discomfort only helps Gremlin in the long run…This is just Another Freeing Growth Opportunity (AFGO)! I can let Gremlin be background noise or simply ‘leaves blowing in the wind’…I can accept the presence of Gremlin and choose to pursue my own goals.”

Good emotional literacy means the following:

1. Understanding that there are different emotions (anger, sadness, worry, embarrassment, excitement, happiness, guilt etc)

2. Understanding that emotions vary in intensity from mild to strong

3. Understanding that emotions are triggered by thoughts and situations (it is normal)

4. Being able to identify emotions in self and others

5. Being able to express emotions and take steps to cope with negative emotions

Avoid drawing toxic thoughts into your mind. A sure way to bring in toxins is to associate with toxic people

Be more active in your mind. Learn to love learning. Pursue a hobby. Sign up for an interesting seminar. Take a college course. Learn a new skill. Memorize a poem or a motto. Never stop learning and exercising your mind. This leaves little time or space for negative, destructive thinking

Choose good nutrition for your mind. Read good literature and fill your mind with inspirational stories, empowering thoughts, and motivational knowledge.