https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRsTYMWyvdc
Stop trying
to read minds.
Most relationship problems and associated social anxieties start
with bad communication, which in turn leads to attempted mind reading. Mind reading occurs when two people assume that
they know what the other is thinking when they don’t. This process of
wondering and trying to guess what someone is thinking is a rapid route to
feelings of insecurity and stress.
If someone says one thing, don’t assume they mean something
else. If they say nothing at all, don’t assume their silence has
some hidden, negative connotation. Likewise, don’t make the people in your life try to read
your mind. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Give the people
in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the
unknowable.
It’s also important to remember that you aren’t supposed to know
every little thing going on in the minds of others, even the people closest to
you. When you stop trying to read
their minds, you really begin to respect their right to privacy. Everyone
deserves the right to think private thoughts. Constantly asking, “What are you thinking?” can provoke a person to
withdraw from a relationship to find space.
Exercise:
ASK PERMISSION “Can I check out an assumption I have?”
ASK “I think that you think…. Is that correct?”
Dangers of Mind
Reading:
• Telling ourselves stories about others that aren’t
true.
• Making assumptions without checking them out damages
relationships
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