How Worrying More Can Help You Worry Less

Are you a worrier? Are you the sort of person who worries about anything and everything?

If so then you may be able to help yourself by taking your worrying more seriously - and spending more time on it!

A team of researchers in America have shown that people who allocate fixed amounts of time for worrying suffer less torment - and fewer side effects of stress - than people who always try to push their worries into the background.

Most people worry in bits.

If you think about it you'll see what I mean.

Your worries come and go during the day and you never really get a chance to think them through. You worry for a few minutes at a time and then your worrying is interrupted by the telephone or the doorbell or by the need to do something practical - like go to work or get a meal.

The evidence shows that you'd suffer far less if you allocated thirty minutes a day for worrying.

And made sure that NOTHING interrupted your worrying!

Keep a notebook and a pencil handy and every time something worrying comes into your mind write it down.

Unless it's really urgent don't worry about the problem now - wait until your special thirty minute "worry session" starts.

When your personal "worry session" starts turn off the telephone and go somewhere that you can't hear the doorbell. Make sure that you won't be interrupted.

Then concentrate hard on each item that you've put on your list.

Try to look at each problem from new angles. Try to see things from other people's point of view.

Most important of all look at each "worry" on your list and ask yourself:

"What's the worst that can happen?"

Then look for solutions. Look for answers. Look for ways to deal with the worries and anxieties you've accumulated.

You'll be amazed!

Most of the worries which normally irritate and create tension for days or even weeks can be thought through in a thirty minute "worry session".

By concentrating hard on your worries you'll get a chance to put them into perspective. And you'll be surprised at the many answers you find and how many problems simply disappear when they're thought about properly. 

Talk to anxiety like a friend. Sometimes you fight, sometimes you don’t.

You Can’t “Refuse” to Feel

You Can’t “Refuse” to Feel. 

My experience of working with clients suffering from anxiety sensitivity is that they pretty much refuse to ever feel uncomfortable, which is really a mistake. Most of us would never go to the doctor and say, “I refuse to have another headache.” We just don’t make those kinds of ultimatums. The doctor might say, “I can give you some medicine so you can get rid of the headaches sooner, and maybe have them less often,” and the patient would be generally satisfied. But as I suggested before, people with anxiety disorders can sometimes
be a little controlling. (I say this to you very gently). This controlling approach doesn’t work, because “what we resist persists.” In a way, it is like telling your body what it should be doing, but your body has its own autonomy and the ability to undermine your control. It does not ask your permission in order to function.

Taking a Counter-Intuitive Approach (Willingness). 

What is required, then, is to become more flexible. Allow the sensations to just move through you. Be willing to be with whatever is happening. Learn to make friends with your body, and stop bossing it around, because you will lose. If you allow your body to have its fluctuations, it will be nicer to you. Don’t fight it. Acknowledge that your attitude towards your internal responses is extreme, and just try to “float” with the experience. Watch your thoughts and your physical sensations come and go, and stop struggling with
your experiences. Learn to say, “It’s just a thought.” Or, “It’s just a feeling.” Practice feeling neutral, and become an observer, not a director, of your own internal states.

Exposure isn't easy. However, living in the prison of avoidance isn't easy either, and it isn't much of a life. The short-term discomfort of exposure is the price we must pay to purchase a valuable long-term asset--a life free from debilitating anxiety.

Worrying, Racing, Disturbing Thoughts

 

http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/anxiety_worrying_thoughts.html

Worrying, racing thoughts is the one symptom with anxiety that can bother people the most; they do not understand how they can have such thoughts that seem so scary and come with such impact. I have heard people say they fear the beginning of O.C.D or that they have awful thoughts about those closest to them, feel that they are ‘going mad’ and that they cannot control these disturbing thoughts, they seem to come without them even thinking them. Well these do have an explanation and these worrying, disturbing thoughts really are just an off-shoot of anxiety.

The reason you seem to have your attention on yourself all day and it feels like there are many thoughts running through your mind is twofold.

1. It is all the confusion about how you feel. Your mind spends all day looking for answers and trying to find a way out of this hell. Some people may even stay up all night, reflecting on the whole day and trying to figure everything out.

Eventually, thinking just becomes automatic, it becomes a habit. All day, every day, these thoughts seem to enter your head before you even think them. Look at it this way, when people meditate, they stop thinking for hours on end, until it becomes a habit and they can go all day without a worrying thought, which is why they feel so refreshed. Not you, your thoughts just carry on and on and when your mind is tired, like it is now, it grabs hold of every thought pulling them in and making them stick.

2. Why are some thoughts so bad? When you are in an anxious state, emotions seem to be tenfold, everything magnifies and a little problem becomes massive. Something that you could dismiss when you were healthy, can stick around all day.

Anxiety is really just adrenalin that needs an outlet and this includes manifesting itself into scary, irrational, strange thoughts, they are not important and should just be seen for what they are, anxiety just playing its tricks. Anxious thoughts are totally normal when suffering with anxiety. People ask me. 'Why do I have all these anxious, scary thoughts?, 'Because you have anxiety' is always my answer. It's a simple response to a simple question.

These are just some of the scary thoughts on anxiety that I have come across. I call them the ‘what ifs’!

What if no one can cure me?

What if it’s not anxiety, but a different mental problem?

What if my old self is lost forever

What if there is something else wrong with me, brain tumour etc?

What if I lose control?

What if I can't breathe?

What if I have to live like this for the rest of my life?

What if this feeling never goes away?

What if it’s just me that feels like this?

What if I'll never be able to enjoy the things I used to?

What if I have an attack and pass out?

What if I cannot be the person I used to be?

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What if I can’t find a job and we have no money?

You may have said one or two of the above to yourself or recognize a fear you have. Well, I did too; it was always ‘yes, but what if?’ Well, all of these ‘what ifs?’ usually amount to nothing. They prove to be just an overactive mind playing its tricks on you. Thoughts seem to come uninvited and always seem to hold such force when we are anxious. Also, a lack of understanding of anxiety can bring these fears. Like me, you may have gone for a long time without anyone explaining to you why you feel like you do and you may not even have been told that it is anxiety. Can you see why these fears can build up in people? A lack of understanding of their condition, coupled with the habit of always thinking the worst compounds their fears. Add this to a tired mind that has lost a lot of its resilience, and you have a whole host of ‘what ifs?’.

Some people worry to the extent that they believe everything they feel is life threatening. A headache becomes a brain tumour, a stomach ache can become cancer and so on, and no matter how many times their doctor tells them there is nothing wrong with them, they are never quite convinced.

If this is you, then realize these thoughts are just figments of your imagination, mainly created by your anxious state. Everything becomes magnified when we are anxious. Let these thoughts go, don’t react to them and see them as just that, thoughts that carry no weight whatsoever, no matter how loud they shout.

When we try too hard to do ANYTHING, it seems to slip further from grasp. This includes to ridding oneself of unwanted thoughts. The more you "try" to push them away, the longer they linger and the stronger their impact. When we welcome and give room to unwanted thoughts, they lose their significance and quickly diminish. When you impose a false sense of importance upon a thought, it will often appear more serious than it deserves.

Time again is a great healer concerning this condition. I allowed them to flow in and flow out and I didn’t react. When I did this, I noticed the scary thoughts seem to lose their scary edge. Stop fighting them, just say: come if you wish, I no longer care, you are not important.

Don’t ever tell yourself that you must not think these thoughts. Let all thoughts come; do not run away from any of them; see them for what they are, just thoughts, exaggerated because of the way you feel. They can do you no harm and they mean nothing. They won’t be around when you recover, so pay them no respect. The best way to alleviate these intrusive thoughts is to allow them their space by NOT trying to force them out.

Why not try following a negative/scary thought through and ask yourself, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Then ask yourself if it is really going to happen? Is this thought rational in any way? If you do this, you may find an answer to a thought you have been so frightened off, so that next time these thoughts enter your head, deep down inside there will be a part of you that can see them for what they really are and let them go.

I often get asked ‘How I do I stop thinking a certain way’, my answer is DON’T try, if it’s not important whether your thoughts are scary or not, why try to stop them, give them their space, this is the way to lose them. Fighting thoughts and trying to rid yourself of them is the wrong approach and a battle you will lose for sure, again you are fighting something that is totally normal in the circumstances. Don't think you are going crazy or try and fight or change the way you think.

Observe and Describe

Describing is using words to represent what you observe. Observing is just noticing and attending; there are no words. Describing is a reaction to observing; it is labeling what is observed. Such acknowledgement is an expressed recognition of your experience.

For example, say in your mind, “Sadness has just enveloped me”…or…”stomach muscles tightening”… or … “A thought ‘I can’t do this’ has come into my mind” … or … “walking, step, step, step…”

Put experiences into words (put a finger on that free floating feeling). Describe to yourself what is happening. Put a name on your feelings. Call a thought just a thought, a feeling just a feeling. Don’t get caught in content.

Self-awareness is the ability to name an emotion like sadness as sadness from a slightly detached viewpoint. In an examination situation, the physical sensation – stomach muscles tightening – may be confused with the perception of the environment – an exam is starting – to produce a dysfunctional thought – I am going to fail the exam. Thoughts are often confused with facts. If ‘I can’t do this’ comes into your mind, this does not necessarily mean that in fact you can’t do whatever. You may be able to do this or that despite thoughts to the contrary. Self-effectiveness depends upon your ability to test the reality of your thoughts. Describing a thought as just a thought requires you to notice that it is a thought instead of a fact. 

Describing is using words to represent what you observe. Describing is “just the facts.” Judging is labeling something in an evaluative way. The ability to apply names to behavioral and environmental events is essential for both communication and self-control. Learning to describe requires that you learn not to take your emotions and thoughts literally – that is, as a literal reflection of environmental events. Feeling afraid does not necessarily mean that a situation is threatening to your life or welfare. 

Thoughts are often taken literally; thoughts are confused with facts. I feel unloved is confused with I am unloved. One of the principle aims of cognitive therapy is to test the association of thoughts with their corresponding environmental events. Practice observing and describing by doing this exercise: imagine that your mind is a conveyor belt, and that thoughts and/or feelings are coming down the belt. Your job is to sort what comes down the belt into named categories. For example, you could have a box for thoughts (of any sort), one box for sensation in your body, and one box for urges to do something. Thus, you are applying words, representations, to thoughts, sensations, and urges.

I recommend using the describe skill for DBT skills homework too. The idea is to use words to describe in what situation one used a skill. Express with words the relationship between the situation, the skill, and the result. Words focus thoughts. Describing events and personal responses in words develops the ability
to label environmental events and behaviors. 

The ability to describe what you feel and do when you are nervous, anxious, upset, impatient, fearful, excited, or tired helps you observe more clearly the connections between yourself and your environment.
Using observe and describe together can help you stay in the present moment and focus on doing what you can now to make your situation better. 

Sit With Anxiety

If you can sit with anxiety, no matter how bad it is, the anxiety will lessen. Don’t listen to your thoughts that tell you that you cannot handle it or that something terrible is going to happen if you continue to feel anxious. These thoughts are false, and the physical sensations you feel are a normal part of the anxiety response. It is very important not to discontinue exposure until the anxiety has diminished, or you risk reinforcing the anxiety and possibly even making it worse. As you sit with the anxiety, use the relaxation techniques you have been practicing to help you reduce the anxiety more quickly. Focus on your breath, and not on the anxious thoughts and feelings. You can override the anxiety response. Over time, with repeated exposure, a situation that used to cause significant anxiety will cause less and less-a process known as habituation.

Keep practicing your relaxation, in addition to the exposure sessions!

Anxiety & Panic Questions and Answers

http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/anxiety_q_a.html

I have given many answers to all sorts of questions throughout my years of helping people with Anxiety and Panic and certain questions came up far more than others. So for everyone's benefit I decided to list some of the more popular ones below.

Q.1 Why do I feel better in certain situations and not in others?

This is a very common one and it all comes down to how you think in other situations.

For example, you may feel better in the safety of your own home rather than at a family gathering. There is no difference in both of these situations, the only difference is in the way you think. You are the same person and it is not the situation that makes you feel worse, it is your thought pattern and memory working together.

You may spend the day worrying about going to a particular function, setting your body up to be anxious on arrival and then blame it on the situation you are in rather than the thought pattern you have created during the day while at home. You may get there and then also worry about making a fool of yourself, spending the whole time tensing and trying to control how you feel and creating more anxiety. Do you see how we do this to ourselves? It is not the situation, but our perception of the situation that causes us to feel worse in certain situations.

You must just accept how you feel wherever you are and in whatever situation you find yourself; deal with yourself and not the place, if your feel apprehensive then that's fine, don't try and lead yourself by the hand or try and keep a grip of yourself, release this grip, nothing will happen. Sometimes a place may hold certain memories of failure, which makes us feel anxious, but this soon passes when we learn to accept how we feel and let go of that tension.

If you truly accept how you feel in every situation and stop trying to keep a grip on yourself or looking for the easy exit, you will find that although you may feel uncomfortable at times, nothing bad happens to you, and in time your reactions lessen until you feel more able to cope, day by day. Anxiety loves avoidance, so take its power away, move forward and embrace these feelings of fear. This is the key. Moving towards your fears is far more productive than hiding from them. By continually hiding and running away from how you feel you are training your mind and body that there is danger in normally everyday activities. It is just responding to the signals you are giving it. So if you go towards your fears, allow yourself to feel this way, you are then telling it that it's fine, there is no danger here. You will cope with how you feel, again it is just a feeling brought on by excess adrenalin that always subside and in time your confidence begins to grow, it will never grow while you avoid, to find peace we must feel a bit of fear.

Avoiding symptoms just does not work, as you must realise by now. You need to let all feelings be there, not to avoid them but to go through them, invite them even. This worked for me, I had faced my demons head on and realised this was the only way to stop fearing them. I ignored my body's instinct to avoid and started to embrace how I felt, I moved towards the feelings of apprehension. Eventually, I started to understand my condition so much more.

I mention the word 'understanding' again, because this is the key to recovery. How can you not fear something you don't understand! How can you accept something that still scares you?

Q.2 Will these feelings ever go away?

Yes they will, once you understand why you feel like you do, you can then start to unmask a lot of the fears you hold about anxiety. There are so many myths about anxiety that it worries me just how many people are mis-informed and truly believe they will never get better and that they will just have to live with this condition forever. Too many people spend years like I did, searching for that elusive miracle cure that just does not exist. Your body has been through a lot in the time you have had this condition. It maybe emotionally spent and feel so tired. None of this has done you any long term harm. Just see your body as running at 75% at the moment. In time when you learn to step out of your own way and start doing things the right way and changing your habits, it improves and starts to feel more healthy and refreshed. Letting your body recover at its own pace is the key. An overnight cure is impossible after what you have been through. But what a journey recovery can be when we allow it to happen.

Understanding anxiety also takes away so much fear out of how we feel. A lot of anxiety is habit, a learned behaviour that can be reversed. Every stage and symptom has a logical explanation that can be explained. With less fear and more understanding, we also calm the constant worrying; it is the lack of information on the subject that keeps the worry cycle going. Constant worrying that we will never get better also adds to the belief that we will just have to live with it.

Once we start to understand anxiety and use the tools we have learnt to cope with how we feel, the change can be dramatic. In my recovery, I found that the more knowledge I had and the more I understood my condition the easier it was to accept how I felt and get on with living. I started to lose the fear of my symptoms. Eventually they began to hold less power over me and I started to pay them less respect, my attention began to become more outward than inward.

It is your desperation to rid yourself of how you feel that keeps your anxiety alive. The stress you put on yourself day in day out, the constant worrying and thinking about your condition,  puts a tremendous pressure on your body. Is it any wonder you stay anxious? It's time to stop beating yourself up about how you feel and give your body the rest it craves.

Knowledge is power. The less you fear your symptoms, the less they mean. This also stops the worry cycle you may find yourself in, which is the very thing that keeps anxiety going. You are bound to worry if you don't know what is wrong with you. That is why you need an explanation to help break this cycle.

Q.3 Why do I find it so hard in social situations? I find it so hard to communicate with people.

Is it any wonder we find it difficult to follow a conversation when all we are concerned about is ourself and how we feel. We can't concentrate on what the other person is saying because all we are concerned about is how we are feeling and how we may be coming across. I found myself trying to hold on to myself, trying not to crack. It was like acting out a part in a film. It was like being two separate people, one trying to hold a conversation, the other watching my body's reaction. Is it any wonder we struggle to fit in to the world around us?

Once we find the courage to accept how we feel and try not to put too much importance on how we come across, we find it easier to follow what the other person is saying. We become less concerned about how we feel, which gives us more time to be interested in the situation we are in and we start to become more involved in the present.

Q.4 Why do I seem to have so many scary / negative thoughts running around all day?

The reason you seem to have your attention on yourself all day and it feels like there are hundreds ofthoughts running through your mind is because of all your confusion about how you feel. You go round in your mind all day long, looking for answers, trying to find a way out of this hell. Some people may even stay up all night reflecting on the whole day, trying to figure it all out. Mostly these arenegative or worrying thoughts and that's why they seem to come automatically and with so much force. When you are in an anxious state, emotions seem to be ten-fold. Everything magnifies, a little problem becomes massive, and something that you could dismiss when you were healthy, sticks around all day.

Eventually thinking just becomes automatic; it becomes a habit. All day, every day, these thoughts seem to come before you even think them. Looking at it from another angle, when people meditate, they stop thinking for hours on end until it becomes a habit and they can go all day without a worrying thought. That is why they feel so refreshed.

Not you, your thoughts just carry on and on and when your mind is tired, like it is now, it grasps hold of every thought, pulls them in and they seem to stick. Some people worry to the extent that they believe everything they feel is life threatening. A headache becomes a brain tumour, a stomach ache can become cancer and so on, and no matter how many times their doctor tells them there is nothing wrong with them, they are never quite convinced.

If this is you, then realise these thoughts of illness are just figments of your imagination, created by your anxious state. Everything becomes magnified when we are anxious. Let these thoughts go, don’t react to them and see them as just that, thoughts that carry no weight whatsoever, no matter how loud they shout.

When we try too hard to do ANYTHING, it seems to slip further from reach. This applies to ridding oneself of unwanted thoughts. The more you "try" to push them away, the longer they linger and the stronger their impact. When we welcome unwanted thoughts, they lose their significance and quickly diminish. When you impose a false sense of importance upon a thought, it will often appear more serious than it deserves.

Time is a great healer, especially concerning this condition. I allowed any thought to be there and I did not react. When I did this, I noticed the scary thoughts seem to lose their edge. There is no need to fight them or try and rid yourself of scary thoughts, just say: come if you wish, I no longer care. Do not be thrown by these symptoms or this experience. Once you begin to recover, the mind and body settle down and these overwhelming thoughts disappear, along with the anxiety condition.

Don’t ever think, "I must not think that". Let all thoughts come, do not run away from any of them. See them for what they are - thoughts - exaggerated because of the way you feel. They can do you no harm and they mean nothing. They won’t be around when you recover, so pay them no respect.

Q.5 Why did anxiety chose me?

Anxiety does not chose certain people. It is not something you just get like a cold. Anxiety is the result of your body being over worked, be it through long hours or stress at work, a problem or collection of them that you have been worrying about. Your nerves have taken on so much for a length of time and go 'bad' as many put it. If you work anything beyond it's capabilities, whether it be a blender, a vacuum cleaner or a car, it will break down or begin to clunk and run badly. Your body is the same. So anxiety is not an 'it'. It is not something your body wants to go through. It is your body telling you it can no longer work at the pressure you are putting it under. That is why it is important to take your symptoms with a pinch of salt and not to then get stressed about the way you feel, adding more stress and worry to an already tired body that craves for a break.

You Can Recover And You Will Recover!

1. Really understand what is happening, read it and re read it until its clear in your mind

2. Accept that these thoughts and feelings are around, whether you like them or not. Allow them to do their thing and you do yours.

3. Remember a thought is just that "a thought" it does not mean you will act on it or are a bad person for thinking it. Let the thoughts come in and out of your mind as they want to and you just do your thing while they do.

4. Each time you feel panic switch to slow mode and slow everything down

5. Start to do the opposite to your instincts as much as you can

6. Expose yourself to situations and people you have been avoiding and activate your panic response (remember we WANT the panic to come)

7. Once activated stay there, until you feel the panic die away, remember the panic MUST leave before you do

8. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat!

9. Carry on living your life with the panic alongside you

10. Have Patience. Don’t think it should have gone by now why won’t it? Wait till it decides to die away. It will but it may take a while.

11. Always have the end result in your mind (this was something I always did), never lose hope that you will recover.

The above steps really helped me and it’s also really helpful to remember that the person you once were before all this is still there, underneath it all and just waiting to come back again. The body is also really good at healing itself and will work hard to get better as soon as you give it chance to. 

Accepting Anxiety

If you really want to effectively manage your anxiety, the key is to ACCEPT it. This might sound counter-intuitive. But anxiety, “in and of itself,” isn't the real problem. Instead, it’s our attempts at controlling and eliminating it. Not accepting these unwanted inner experiences is the actual source of so much of our self-induced suffering. Accepting anxiety doesn't mean resigning ourselves to a life of anxious misery. It simply means that we are better off recognizing and fully accepting the existence of anxiety and other uncomfortable emotional states that are inevitable, but transitory. Don't get caught up in analysis-paralysis. So if you experience anxiety today, simply observe it. Think of it like a wave of the ocean; allow it to come in, experience it, and ride it out. Anxiety can feel overwhelming. It can feel like chains around your feet, weighing you down. But by taking small steps – like the ones above – you can minimize your anxiety and cope effectively.

Setbacks

I learnt that the more I let a setback bother me, the longer it lasted, so I just had to learn to live alongside it and pay it little respect. Memory and habit of past suffering were at work. How could I suffer for so long and not expect to feel anxious and lost again?

I began to see setbacks as part of the process. No matter how horrible I felt, I refused to let them throw me back into total despair and just waited until they passed, which they always did. When you start to go through a few setbacks you learn to hardly ever give them a second thought. They are still unpleasant, but nothing to worry or despair about.

Soothing the Worrywart

Soothing the Worrywart Dr. Beverly Potter Copyright material. See notice at bottom     Worrying is good because it helps you to anticipate danger before it arises,  identify possible perils, come up with ways to lessen the risks, and rehearse what you plan to do.  But there are some people, worrywarts, who get stuck in identifying danger. Perhaps you manage such an individual. They immerse themselves in the dread associated with the threat, which may be real or, more likely, imagined. They spin out an endless loop of melodrama, blowing everything out of proportion. "What if I can't handle this new responsibility?" "What if I don't sleep well the night before my presentation?" "What if I don't reach that sales quota?" "What if my new staff member can't fit in?"

While worrywarts insist worrying is helpful, little is solved. They are tormented by their thinking ruts, and stop living in the present moment. Worrywarts waste important time and energy. Worse yet, worry begets more worry, setting into motion a vicious cycle of anxiety. Many of these people want to analyze everything; they become perfectionists. But their analysis gets in the way of getting things done, moving ahead. Excessive worrying tends to crowd out everything else, spoiling the day and sometimes disrupting sleep. You get nowhere by merely telling them, "Don't worry." However, if you understand the worrywart, it will be easier to help him or her.Thinking Habits
Worrywarts have some bad thinking habits. They are not born with a predisposition to anxious self-talk. They learned it! They also can change bad thinking habits in the same way they would change any other habit.
Smart worriers, on the other hand, avoid becoming consumed by anxiety by studying the perils associated with a worrisome situation, by recognizing their distress as anxiety, and by bringing themselves back to the balance. Worrywarts do the opposite. They keep themselves in a state of agitation. Smart worriers soothe themselves, while worrywarts rile themselves up.
Worry is an inner dialog called "self-talk," a talking it over with oneself as a way to cope with bothersome situations. The nature of that dialog is tremendously powerful in shaping how you feel and what you do. Worrywart's self-talk is judgmental, critical and scary, keeping them off-balance and unnerved as it triggers more worry.
Smart worriers talk to themselves the way a friend would. Friends encourage, give permission and challenge extremes. Thus, smart worriers become hopeful, think flexibly and look for solutions, even if they are only partial solutions. And smart worriers accept what can't be changed.
Help for the Worrywart.
If you recognize the worrrywart type in your group, show him or her (or them) this article. Or, perhaps, you will want to provide your own recommendations in getting out of this mental habit. Here are some hints that have actually helped worrywarts.
Watch How You Worry.
Don't make the mistake of trying to change your worrying before you understand it. Keep a record of the themes of your worries, your worrying times and the triggers that initiated the worries. Rate the degree of each worry and the sensations you feel. List the fears hiding in that worry. As you write about the worry, you are taking action and gaining control. You are doing something other than worrying. You'll begin to understand your habit.
Friendly Talk.
Your ever-present companion-you-causes the worrywart habit.  Get that companion to help you, and talk to you as a friend would. This is a technique that psychologists find to be quite effective. Have an internal dialog to help you stop criticizing yourself. Use the internal dialog to support yourself and make decisions or set goals. The best way to do this is to imagine what a friend would say. What would he or she say to soothe you and bring you back to balance? You may want to write your "companion's" suggestions in a notebook.
The worrywarting habit took years to develop; therefore, it's not surprising that the self-talk method will take time and effort. Talk to yourself in an undemanding and pleasant way, just the way a good friend would talk to you.  
Challenge Your Worry.
An unchallenged worrisome thought, repeated over and over, gains persuasive power through a kind of brainwashing. It becomes so compelling you forget it is only one way of looking at the situation. Soon you believe the worry is an established fact. Then, you are convinced of the truth of your worry. And that's where you're stuck.
However, there's always more than one way to view things. Challenging a worrisome thought by contemplating a range of equally plausible points of view keeps the worry from being taken as true. If you see yourself trapped and helpless, you'll feel depressed; whereas if you look at the situation as a difficult, but surmountable, challenge, you're likely to feel hopeful determination.
While it doesn't seem so, it is actually a matter of choice. You can choose among ways of viewing a worrisome situation by the way you think about it. You may not be able to control a disturbing event, but you can control what you say to yourself about it. That's what smart worriers do, they change their view and how they feel. They actively challenge worrisome thoughts.
From the notes on your worrying habits, you'll become more aware of anxiety-provoking automatic thoughts as they occur. Review the "data" and ask yourself what went through your mind at the time. Then under the worrisome thought, write the word "Challenges." Do some brainstorming for alternative views of the situation. You don't even have to be logical. The main thing is to catch worries and get in the habit of challenging them.
Look for Solutions.
Worry is beneficial provided you worry smart. Smart worry leads to action, to doing something to improve your situation. Worry that doesn't lead to action is useless, even destructive. You can be worrying and not really be aware of it. It just seems to go on automatically while you're doing something else. You must bring that worry to your conscious attention before you can find a solution. Then ask yourself, "What am I really worrying about?" Then ask, "Is there anything I can do about this?"; If the answer to this question is "No," then there is no gain, no benefit in continuing to worry about it. To continue worrying is worrywarting.
But worry can lead to something productive, so don't be too quick to answer "No", for this can lead to the feeling of powerlessness and damage motivation. The fact is, there is almost always something you can do.
If the answer to the question is "Yes," then begin to look for solutions. Once again, there's no reason to continue worrying about it. So let go of the worry and find the solution.
Distract Yourself from the Worry.
The smart worrier focuses on things other than the worrisome event. There are a number of ways to do this. Engage yourself in something routine that is pleasant to you, such as taking a walk, driving, cooking or doing crossword puzzles. There's a fair chance that you'll arrive at a solution to the problem while disengaging yourself from it.
Another approach to soothe your anxiety is to imagine positive possibilities to the worrisome problem. Just the change of attitude can get you thinking in new ways.
One favorite technique is through humor. Think about something funny related to the problem. Or make a joke out of the uncomfortable situation. Use your imagination. What you'll be doing is getting off the negative and focusing on something positive, laughter (or maybe just an internal giggle). This is a good way to release anxiety.
The main thing, however, is to recognize the worrywart. It could be you, or it could be someone you supervise. Once you recognize this debilitating habit, then do something to reverse it. The above hints are just a start.

 
Copyright 1997, 2009: Beverly Potter. All rights reserved. From The Worrywart's Companion: Twenty-One Ways to Soothe Yourself and Worry Smart,$15.95. This article may be downloaded for personal use only. To copy or reprint for any other purpose permission from Beverly Potter is needed. Contact her at PO Box 3008, Oakland, CA 94609,  Fax 510/420-3672, email <mailto:beverly@docpotter.com>

Anticipatory Anxiety 2

One reassuring fact about anticipatory anxiety is that it often concerns something that’s already happened. It’s usually based on a past experience(s) of something that didn't go well. Those past memories are replayed over and over, probably embellished with a few new disasters that never actually happened, somatic sensations and the whole unhappy event is projected into your future where you see it happening again.

Anticipation Anxiety

For people with panic disorder, the panic attack is only part of their difficulty.  Rather the worry and anticipation of having a panic attack can be quite debilitating.   This worry leads to avoidance, which prevents a person from living a fulfilling life. The panic attack itself only lasts for a short period of time, but the anticipation of future attacks can often be with the person all the time.   The thought of having a panic attack consumes countless hours, but the actual panic attack is at its worse for only a few minutes. This anxiety/worry in clinical terms is referred to as anticipatory anxiety and can often be the most debilitating part of Panic Disorder.

To treat anticipatory anxiety, both the cognitive and behavioral techniques are implemented.   The thought of having a panic attack is examined to see whether worrying about it all the time is helping them in anyway. Thus, the person might come to a realization that no amount of worrying is helping them and it might be making his or her life miserable.  If a panic attack does occur then all the time spent worrying was completely useless.  If a panic attack does not occur, then all the worrying made the person miserable during that time. A person can ask him or herself whether it was really worth all the sacrifices and missed opportunities (i.e. social functions, work activities, family events, socializing with friends, family vacations, etc.)? How is life better by worrying?  So what is the purpose of worrying?  One answer is control.  People with panic often think that if they can predict how, when, and why the panic occurs, then we are somehow we are in control of it or can prevent it from happening. The problem with that logic is that panic cannot be controlled and the more you try to the worst it becomes.  The best way to gain control is by letting go of the control and accepting panic for what it is (a false alarm).

The examination of the thoughts is sometimes easier “said than done.”  The exposure to the feared bodily sensations is where the person learns that the symptoms are not as bad (and learn that he or she can handle the symptoms).  We liken it to watching a scary movie. Watching it once is quite scary, but watching it multiple times becomes boring.  The important factor in exposures is that the person does not practice safety seeking behaviors as they reinforce the idea that the symptoms are not manageable (basically, telling the person’s body that “I can’t handle it and I need to do something to protect myself”).

Old Habits Die Hard: Murder Them With a Sense of Self, Mental Acuity, and Cue Utilization

Anxiety - hypervigilance and frequent misinterpretation of non-threatening external events or internal bodily sensations as extremely hazardous.

Весеннее обострение

Весеннее обострение

Вот и весна! День стал длиннее. Позже темнеет, раньше светает. Суровые зимние морозы позади. Уже прошла масленица, уже в воздухе запах талого снега. Природа сбрасывает оковы зимнего сна и сигналит всему живому: «Просыпайтесь! Весна пришла!» Тут-то и может подстерегать опасность, ведь как замечено, счастье и стресс начинаются на одну букву...

Биологи и медики отмечают в начальный весенний период  четкие изменения биоритмов, обмена веществ, психической деятельности – как у животных, так и у людей. Удлинение светового дня способствует стимуляции нервной, эндокринной, репродуктивной систем; выработке в организме повышенных количеств гормонов и медиаторов, отвечающих за подъем активности, настроения, прилив сил. В этот период года людям, как правило, хочется  «жить, думать, чувствовать, любить, свершать открытья…»

Велика сила зова весны. Однако, напряжение внутренних эндокринных и эмоциональных процессов, подъем возбудимости и некоторая эйфория, заложенная в нас природой и проявляющаяся в это время, может приводить к обострениям различных заболеваний, в том числе – психических.  Нарушения сна, аппетита, настроения, поведения, мышления  могут быть напрямую связаны с весенней перестройкой организма. И тогда мы видим картину «весеннего обострения». Спокойные люди становятся обидчивыми и агрессивными, задумчивые – вдруг впадают в депрессию, алкоголики уходят в запои, пожилые начинают особенно сильно ощущать колебания артериального давления или страдать от головных болей и бессонницы, становясь неуживчивыми и раздражительными; у каждого: где тонко – там и рвется, - говорят медики.

Ученые говорят: весной, с самыми первыми лучами солнца возникает дисбаланс процессов возбуждения и торможения в коре головного мозга. Однако этого мало. Возникает еще и дисбаланс между корой и подкоркой, выражающийся в огромном количестве подпороговых, подкорковых сигналов, которые головному мозгу необходимо обработать и на которые необходимо дать ответ. Если механизмы, компенсирующие этот дисбаланс, сломаны, то  в условиях, когда подпороговых сигналов становится много, сигналы пробиваются в сознание, и тогда мы начинаем чувствовать «смутное беспокойство»; возникает чувство дискомфорта, тревоги: у людей, склонных к галлюцинаторным образованиям – могут возникнуть «звучащие мысли», «голоса». Тревога может спровоцировать страх, бред, агрессию, обсессивно-компульсивные расстройства, панические атаки, колебания настроения, бессонницу. И порочный круг замыкается: еще больше нарастают дискомфорт и тревога со всеми вытекающими последствиями, а кора больших полушарий по-прежнему не способна выполнять свою основную тормозящую и модулирующую роль. И мозг заболевает.