You Can’t “Refuse” to Feel

You Can’t “Refuse” to Feel. 

My experience of working with clients suffering from anxiety sensitivity is that they pretty much refuse to ever feel uncomfortable, which is really a mistake. Most of us would never go to the doctor and say, “I refuse to have another headache.” We just don’t make those kinds of ultimatums. The doctor might say, “I can give you some medicine so you can get rid of the headaches sooner, and maybe have them less often,” and the patient would be generally satisfied. But as I suggested before, people with anxiety disorders can sometimes
be a little controlling. (I say this to you very gently). This controlling approach doesn’t work, because “what we resist persists.” In a way, it is like telling your body what it should be doing, but your body has its own autonomy and the ability to undermine your control. It does not ask your permission in order to function.

Taking a Counter-Intuitive Approach (Willingness). 

What is required, then, is to become more flexible. Allow the sensations to just move through you. Be willing to be with whatever is happening. Learn to make friends with your body, and stop bossing it around, because you will lose. If you allow your body to have its fluctuations, it will be nicer to you. Don’t fight it. Acknowledge that your attitude towards your internal responses is extreme, and just try to “float” with the experience. Watch your thoughts and your physical sensations come and go, and stop struggling with
your experiences. Learn to say, “It’s just a thought.” Or, “It’s just a feeling.” Practice feeling neutral, and become an observer, not a director, of your own internal states.