Friday, December 25, 2009
Aware Observer
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Acceptance Grows Love
It is when we learn to accept people as they are that we become able to maintain deep, meaningful relationships with others. When you accept others, you recognize that they are different from you and acknowledge that it is those differences that make them interesting. Acceptance is about loving the person that they are, even when there is tension between you. Accepting your loved ones leaves you free to stop trying to change them so that they fit your ideal. You are then free to make the relationship fit the person, rather than the person fit the relationship. When you accept your loved ones for who they are today, your relationships can flourish.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Principles Of Mental Hygiene
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Fog
By and large, most of us prefer to be able to see where we are going and move steadfastly in that direction, but there are gifts that come from being in a fog. Sometimes it takes an obstacle like fog to get us to stop and be still in the moment, doing nothing. In this moment of involuntary inactivity, we may look within and find that the source of our fogginess is inside us; it could be some emotional issue that needs tending before we can safely go full steam ahead. Being in a fog reminds us that when we cannot see outside ourselves, we can always make progress by looking within. Then again, the fog may simply be teaching us important lessons about how to continue moving forward with extreme caution, harnessing our attention, watching closely for new information, and being ready to stop on a dime.
We cannot predict when a fog will come, nor can we know for certain when it will lift, but we can center ourselves in the haze and wait for guidance. We may find it inside ourselves or in a pair of barely visible taillights just ahead. Whether we follow the lights out of the fog, wait for a gentle breeze to lift it, or allow the sun to burn it away, we can rest certain that one way or another, we will move forward with clarity once again.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Don't Take Life So Seriously
Over the last few years, I have become more aware of my spirituality and have been able to remove myself from the race and out of the box from time to time. I sit back and shake my head and wonder why I am bouncing around with such aimlessness. Why is it that I made this or that turn. I can now laugh at myself when I see myself taking a blind turn and ending up in a cull de sac. I have learned how to remove myself and see my life as the silent observer from across the inlet. I know where I have come from and where I am going. I don’t take any wrong turns too seriously anymore. I understand that they also have purpose, other wise I wouldn’t have made them.
The trip from the west end to the east end is predictable. How I get there and how fast or slowly, is an individual choice. If complicated is how I see it, I have that choice. If I am overly focused on getting to the end quickly, I can make that choice also.
Life is simple, it was designed that way. Add a pinch of seriousness here or there and it begins to get more complicated. We sometimes lose our way or become confused. We lose touch with our purpose and how we want to get there. The more we think about life, the more meaningless it becomes. Life has no purpose, save for the purpose we give it. It’s simply about choice. Turn left, right, go backwards or ahead. When we lose sight, we get lost in the freedom of choices that we have. We become fearful and anxious. We lose sight of the end of the road and begin making mistakes and taking turns that lead us away.
From where I now sit, I can see were the traffic is going. While I’m in it, I am blinded by the car in front of me and the objects that take away my attention along the road.
Next time I travel that road on the north side. I will look back at the silent observer and get my bearings once again.
Learn to take time out for yourself and do nothing. Simply notice where you have been, and where you are going. Practice this often, and your life will change for the better. You will know direction and purpose once again. You will know when a turn does not get you where you want to go. You will use the eyes of the silent observer to guide you. Life will become fun, once you become less serious.
Next time you are lost, look across the inlet, and know that you are there watching yourself, ready to give directions. Better still look at where you want to go first, and trust that you will be guided without making unnecessary turns. Travel often to the other side and watch yourself. Notice how you move. See the comedy in your life and how you create drama. Notice the simplicity of your journey and how difficult you are making it. Notice how you make choices and why. How appropriate the choices are or are not for you. Do not judge ever, just simply notice. Love the one that is now in the driver’s seat and how beautiful you are. Notice how perfect your live is, and how you create your life by making choices that take you where you want to go. Notice also, that you always get to the end of your journey, whether it is all the way to the end of the road or only part way.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Peaceful And Patient Mind-Set
Friday, December 4, 2009
Emotional Flexibility
Adopting a flexible mind-set allows us to interact with others in positive and productive ways. It is easy to become overzealous when we feel strongly about something, especially beliefs that are a big part of who we are, but doing so only alienates others. If we instead choose to step back from our emotions and focus on creating meaningful exchanges with others, we are able to learn more about differing beliefs and share ours in productive ways. With a calm demeanor, we can then interact with others in positive ways and lend our energy to the formation of lasting relationships. By tempering your convictions with a flexible attitude today, you can create a positive atmosphere of sharing and connection with others.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Don’t let any crisis situation rob you of your dreams. Be indomitable. Be optimistic. Be objective. Be innovative. Be patient. Be successful.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Old Kung Fu Principle
It is better to block than to strike,
It is better to strike than to hurt,
It is better to hurt than to maim,
It is better to maim than to kill,
It is better to kill than to be killed,
All life is precious and none can be replaced
The Four Agreements
Toltec Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz M.D.
Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do it because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Be Impeccable, With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Confidence From Within
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Self Worth
Friday, November 20, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Unoccupied And Alert
Now the moment of truth is upon us; the time for silent meditation has arrived. Prepare yourself to face the light by any method that suits you. Yoga, martial arts, therapy. Dance, sing and celebrate. Meet life with an open heart. Make spiritual growth your priority and allow the flow of life to carry you deeper and deeper inside with as few unverified beliefs as possible. Don't take spiritual growth too seriously.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
The Ingredients Of A Happy Life
What I have discovered is that virtually anyone, by learning about five simple concepts, can become much happier than ever before. I don’t mean happy “all time,” but most of the time for sure, and even when we lose our way, it’s pretty simple to guide ourselves back in the right direction.
Let me introduce five simple principles very briefly here and then I’ll speak a little bit about their applications in our daily lives.
1) The first principle is that of “thought.” In short, our ability to think creates our psychological experience of life and most importantly, thinking is a voluntary function. In other words, we produce the thoughts---we think them up! And, with no time in-between, we feel the effects of those thoughts. That’s why it’s so critical to be aware that you are the one producing and thinking your own thoughts.
If you ever tried to scare yourself with your own voice, you’d be out of luck. Why? Because, very simply, you’d always be one step ahead of yourself----you’d know it was you who was saying “boo.”! By becoming aware that we are the producers of our own thoughts, we can have a similar insight. We will always have thoughts to contend with, but once we realize that we create and produce them, it’s pretty hard to be freaked out by them.
Instead of bumming ourselves out or getting angry or scared, we simply say to ourselves, “Whoops, there I go again,” reminding yourself that you’re having what you might come to call a “thought attack.” If you have any type of thought and know it’s “just a thought,” and it’s stemming from inside of you, it’s easy to drop it, and bring yourself back to this precious moment.
2) The principle of moods is incredibly simple. When we’re in a “good” mood, life generally looks pretty good. But when we’re in a “bad” mood, the same life (and that’s the key)! The exact same life looks drastically different. All of a sudden the partner you were so in love with is problamic, the car you drive doesn’t look so good and your future looks less than promising.
But how can this be? While in a good mood, you’re totally in love, the car you drive is absolutely fine and your future looks great. I could give a hundred other examples, but I’m sure you get the point. Your life doesn’t change-----only your mood does. Knowing this changes everything. When you’re down, you feel it and you make allowances for it. You don’t take your own thinking very seriously at all.
Instead, it’s a waiting game. You wait until your mood returns to a better state and then you think about your problems. Same with other people. You begin to recognize when someone is in a low mood and when they are, you don’t take what they say and do very seriously. It’s really that simple. Everyone is subject to moods and when any of us are in a low mood we will say and do things we wouldn’t even consider while in a better frame of mind. Knowing this is a huge advantage. You learn to make allowances for others and their moods---and you get used to the expression, “But for the grace of God, go I.”
When you do suppose most people discuss their problems? While in a low mood of course, because that’s when life has a sense of urgency. But ironically, you can't solve a problem when your low because you have lost your wisdom, common sense and happiness. But when your mood rises, you’ll have your wisdom back and life will look good again! I used to tell couples about this trick all the time and, frequently, one of the partners’ would say to me, “But Richard, if we waited until our mood rose to discuss our problems, it wouldn’t seem like we had problems to discuss.” “That’s the point,” I would say.
3) The third principle is called Separate Psychological Realities. Essentially, this means that because we all think uniquely, we each live if a separate psychological reality. This one is easy to apply. All you have to do is expect, rather than be surprised or disappointed when someone disagrees with you or can’t see things your way. Of course they can’t!
4) Fourth is the principle of feelings. This is probably my favorite and is certainly the simplest. Essentially, all you have to do is pay attention to your feelings. Then, depending on what you are feeling, you use that information to guide you as to what to do. For example, if you’re angry, instead of “thinking” about why you’re angry, you use the angry feelings to remind yourself that you’re a little off base, because again, your goal is to be happy.
You must be thinking angry thoughts or you would be having different types of feelings. Your feelings, positive or negative, are not “bad,” they are simply information and they are foolproof in letting you know where you stand and what needs to be done.
5) The last principle is to live more of our life in the present moment. By using our feelings, we can tell when our mind is drifting away from this moment—which is so common in today’s world. But as you bring your attention back to just this moment, you’ll begin to feel the joy of each precious moment of life. When you’re bothered or irritated, it will usually be because you’re thinking about something that is already over or something that is yet to be.
Practice bringing your attention to the here and now and you’ll be one of the happiest people on earth! Life is a magical adventure when you are right here to enjoy it!
___________
Richard Carlson, PhD, was considered one of the world's foremost experts on happiness and stress reduction. As the author of thirty popular books, which have sold more than 26 million copies worldwide, including the #1 New York Times bestseller Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, he showed millions of people how to not let the small things get the best of them.
* Based on the book You Can Be Happy No Matter What, 15th Anniversary edition Copyright © 2006 by Richard Carlson, PhD, Reprinted with permission from New World Library, Novato, CA USA 94949, 1-800-972-6657, www.NewWorldLibrary.com.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Change Your Thoughts – Creating Positive Thought Patterns
I found a great example of this idea while reading an excerpt in Unity Magazine, of an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert, best-selling author of the book, Eat, Pray, Love.
In her interview, she talked about repeating the phrase “I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore, a mantra that she would invoke 700 times a day. That mantra sparked a vision of a harbor with ships carrying negative thoughts attempting to drop anchor. When one of those ships would attempt to enter the harbor of her mind, she would envision it being turned away." I love this analogy.
Chronic patterns of thought are merely thoughts that have been held in mind and rehearsed over and over again, like a play. Just because a negative thought presents itself in the mind does not mean you have to get out the popcorn, pull up chair, and stay for acts one, two and three. You can simply refuse to take part in the mental drama and move onto something else.
Anytime you find yourself repeating old patterns of behavior that no longer serve your highest good, it’s time to say goodbye to the old thoughts in order to make room for some new ones.
By consistently refusing to harbor negative thoughts and consciously choosing those that feel better, negative thought patterns automatically morph into positive thought patterns. It just takes some conscious effort to begin "playing a new tune".
It is analogous to having forty-one flavors of ice cream to choose from and choosing vanilla every time. It might take a little bit of time to retrain your mind to the idea that chocolate is also a possibility.
Negativity is not something you are born with, it is a learned pattern of behavior. When you are willing to change your thought process from one that is self-sabotaging to one that is self-empowering, your life will change in ways you could never have imagined. It is like being your own mental bodyguard in a way; you always have your back.
As Elizabeth Gilbert so eloquently pointed out, you can stop harboring unhealthy thoughts at anytime. Start today! Your thoughts can change. Your story can change. Your life can change.
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/change_your_thoughts_creating_positive_thought_patterns
Kathleen Bren
www.soulfulgirls.com.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Wisdom From Shrelock Holmes
~Sherlock Holmes
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Uncharted Territory
The beauty of being lost is the same thing that makes it scary—it asks us to look within ourselves to find the way. If we have no map, we must go on instinct, relying on our inner compass to show us which way to go. This can be scary because so much seems to be riding on it. We fear we might go too far in the wrong direction, or become paralyzed and make no progress at all. And yet, this is the very challenge we need to develop our ability to trust ourselves. We are also learning to trust that the universe will support and guide us. We may believe this intellectually, but it is only through experience that it becomes knowledge of the heart. Learning to be okay with being lost and trusting that we will be guided, we begin our journey.
We can support ourselves by confirming that we don’t need to know exactly where we are going in order to take our first steps. We are learning to feel our own way, rather than following an established path, and in doing so we learn to trust ourselves. It is this trust that connects us to the universe and reminds us that no matter how lost we feel, and even as we journey, on the inner level we are already home.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Still Your Mind
Our breath is a wonderful tool for stilling our minds. Even when our lives seem chaotic, our situation is most often a product of the ways in which our minds react to our external world. As we bring breath into our bodies, we are inhaling prana, or life energy, which allows us to focus our thoughts and at the same time energize our bodies and mind so that we may accomplish our tasks. Once our minds become peaceful, we begin to realize that there is very little in life that is an emergency, and we become better able to prioritize our responsibilities as a result. By making use of the power of your breath to quiet your mind today, it will be easier to concentrate on your tasks without becoming weighed down by them.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Awaiting The Future
Monday, October 12, 2009
Devoting Time To A Peaceful Mind-Set
Thursday, September 10, 2009
A celebrated people lose dignity upon a closer view.
I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other.
In politics... never retreat, never retract... never admit a mistake.
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind.
Men are moved by two levers only: fear and self interest.
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.
The word impossible is not in my dictionary.
Throw off your worries when you throw off your clothes at night.
You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.
~Napoleon Bonaparte
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Fear Of Losing What We Have
The letters of the word "fear" can be used to stand for "False Evidence Appearing Real." Fears of being separated from something or someone we feel we need for our security or happiness comes from a delusion—a distorted way of understanding ourselves and the world around us. When we understand that possessions are only representations of the energy at work in our lives, we can shift our attention to the right and proper place. We can stop fearing loss of money or success because when we understand how it is created, we can always create more. We can stop fearing loss of possessions when we realize that they are not the source of our joy or well-being but only icing on our cakes. And when we understand the energy of love, we need not hold anyone too close for fear of losing them for we know that love does not diminish when it is given or shared but expands beyond boundaries of time or space.
By focusing our light on our fears, they are revealed as mere shadows that disappear in the presence of mind and spirit. We can choose instead to direct our thoughts and creative power toward things of true value—love, abundance, peace, passion, and joy. These are energies that are always available to us when we place ourselves confidently in the universal flow of abundance.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Short And Simple
Monday, August 10, 2009
Nothing Is Permanent
When we fail to acknowledge impermanence, we cling to things. We cling to our youth, to our health, to our relationships, and to our possessions. We cling to them as though they could provide lasting happiness, as though they will last forever. Eventually, reality intervenes. That to which we cling is taken from us, and we forced to face the truth of impermanence. Thus we have the pain of a stolen car, of an ended relationship, or the death of a loved one.
In actual fact, the pain associated with clinging arises even before these moments. The pain arises earlier in the form of fear. Deep down, we are already aware of impermanence. Therefore, if we cling to something that is temporary, we live in fear of the day when it is taken from us. We can have a much happier life if we instead realize and accept the impermanence of existence. We can see the futility of clinging to things, and instead learn to appreciate them while we have them, but without staking our happiness on them. This also helps us to make better decisions. When we understand that we will change, and that other people will change, then we can recognize when a fresh approach is needed.
The suffering that results from clinging to impermanence is not fun. Learning to acknowledge the impermanence of existing may seem scary, however it is actually liberating. In reality, we are just acknowledging something that we are already aware of anyway. When we bring it into the open, we realize that it is not so scary. We actually find that recognition of impermanence brings more lightness, acceptance, and joy into our lives, and that the fear and suffering go away.
http://spiritualinquiry.com/articles/nothing-is-permanent/
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Taking Yourself Too Seriously
I agonize over small decisions, worry about personal interactions, wrestle with each word of a simple e-mail, and wake up at night with my heart pounding in anticipation of tomorrow's presentation or with angst about what happened today. Was I good enough? How can I get this right for a change? Why did I say THAT?! The minutest detail is not too small to escape scrutiny when I'm in this frame of mind - when life becomes very, very serious.
When this happens I lose my self, my center, and my perspective. I step out of the precious present moment and into anxiety about the future or the past. I forget that there's nothing I can control except right now, right here, this moment and my availability to it.
Happily, remembering this personal truth is what shifts me back into the present. I begin to breathe again and slip seamlessly into the realization that right now, at this moment, I am okay. Sanity returns as I focus on what is at hand.
~Judy Ringer
Master Chief John Urgayle
Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain? It lets you know you're not dead yet!
Remember, there are no bad crews, only bad leaders.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Embrace Thoughts
Simple Explanation
~Remez Sasson
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Be serene in the oneness of things and such erroneous views will disappear by themselves.
When you try to stop activity to achieve passivity your very effort fills you with activity.
Stop talking and thinking, and there is nothing you will not be able to know.
Do not search for the truth; only cease to cherish opinions.
Do not remain in the dualistic state -- avoid such pursuits carefully.
When the mind exists undisturbed in the Way, nothing in the world can offend, and when such a thing can no longer offend, it ceases to exist in the old way.
Just let things be in their own way and there will be neither coming nor going.
Obey the nature of things (your own nature), and you will walk freely and undisturbed.
When thought is in bondage the truth is hidden, for everything is murky and unclear, and the burdensome practice of judging brings annoyance and weariness.
There is one Dharma, not many; distinctions arise from the clinging needs of the ignorant.
Rest and unrest derive from illusion; with enlightenment there is no liking and disliking.
Gain and loss, right and wrong: such thoughts must finally be abolished at once.
Don't waste time with doubts and arguments.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Insecurity
When we feel insecure, we not only perceive ourselves as incapable of meeting life’s challenges but also fraudulent and unworthy of true happiness. We move through life plagued by a sense that others have judged us and found that we are lacking. As a result, we are robbed of our personal power and rendered unable to feel positive about the choices we make. Everyone feels insecure from time to time because each of us is born into the world with unique strengths. If you should find yourself with feelings of insecurity, however, endeavor to understand its source. Perhaps you were repeatedly berated as a child or seldom receive positive reinforcement in the present. A tendency to withdraw from risk or uncomfortable situations can amplify feelings of insecurity. When you have pinpointed the origin of your insecurity, focus on your abilities. The more you utilize your personal power—by taking risks, boldly facing challenges, and acting decisively—the stronger it will grow.
Remember that insecurity is not objective. Rather, it is an emotional interpretation of your value unconsciously based on doubt, shame, and fear. As you overcome those underlying emotions through courageous action and copious self-love, you’ll discover that you are capable of achieving more than you ever thought possible.
http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/printerfriendly.cgi?articleid=18931
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
~Kevin Stacey
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Mental Toughness
• Having an unshakable belief in your ability to achieve competition goals
• Unique qualities that make you better than your opponents.
2. Motivation:
• Having an insatiable desire and internalized motivation to succeed (you really got to want it)
• Ability to bounce back from performance setbacks with increased determination to succeed.
3. Focus:
• Remain fully focused on the task at hand in the face of competition-specific distractions
• Able to switch focus on and off as required
• Not being adversely affected by others performance or your own internal distractions (worry, negative mind chatter)
4. Composure/Handling Pressure:
• Able to regain psychological control following unexpected events or distractions
• Thriving on the pressure of competition (embracing pressure, stepping into the moment)
• Accept that anxiety is inevitable in competition and know you can cope with it
Richard's Life Tips
If you ever tried to scare yourself with your own voice, you’d be out of luck. Why? Because, very simply, you’d always be one step ahead of yourself----you’d know it was you who was saying “boo.”! By becoming aware that we are the producers of our own thoughts, we can have a similar insight. We will always have thoughts to contend with, but once we realize that we create and produce them, it’s pretty hard to be freaked out by them.
Instead of bumming ourselves out or getting angry or scared, we simply say to ourselves, “Whoops, there I go again,” reminding yourself that you’re having what you might come to call a “thought attack.” If you have any type of thought and know it’s “just a thought,” and it’s stemming from inside of you, it’s easy to drop it, and bring yourself back to this precious moment.
2) The principle of moods is incredibly simple. When we’re in a “good” mood, life generally looks pretty good. But when we’re in a “bad” mood, the same life (and that’s the key)! The exact same life looks drastically different. All of a sudden the partner you were so in love with is problamic, the car you drive doesn’t look so good and your future looks less than promising.
But how can this be? While in a good mood, you’re totally in love, the car you drive is absolutely fine and your future looks great. I could give a hundred other examples, but I’m sure you get the point. Your life doesn’t change-----only your mood does. Knowing this changes everything. When you’re down, you feel it and you make allowances for it. You don’t take your own thinking very seriously at all.
Instead, it’s a waiting game. You wait until your mood returns to a better state and then you think about your problems. Same with other people. You begin to recognize when someone is in a low mood and when they are, you don’t take what they say and do very seriously. It’s really that simple. Everyone is subject to moods and when any of us are in a low mood we will say and do things we wouldn’t even consider while in a better frame of mind. Knowing this is a huge advantage. You learn to make allowances for others and their moods---and you get used to the expression, “But for the grace of God, go I.”
When you do suppose most people discuss their problems? While in a low mood of course, because that’s when life has a sense of urgency. But ironically, you can't solve a problem when your low because you have lost your wisdom, common sense and happiness. But when your mood rises, you’ll have your wisdom back and life will look good again! I used to tell couples about this trick all the time and, frequently, one of the partners’ would say to me, “But Richard, if we waited until our mood rose to discuss our problems, it wouldn’t seem like we had problems to discuss.” “That’s the point,” I would say.
3) The third principle is called Separate Psychological Realities. Essentially, this means that because we all think uniquely, we each live if a separate psychological reality. This one is easy to apply. All you have to do is expect, rather than be surprised or disappointed when someone disagrees with you or can’t see things your way. Of course they can’t!
4) Fourth is the principle of feelings. This is probably my favorite and is certainly the simplest. Essentially, all you have to do is pay attention to your feelings. Then, depending on what you are feeling, you use that information to guide you as to what to do. For example, if you’re angry, instead of “thinking” about why you’re angry, you use the angry feelings to remind yourself that you’re a little off base, because again, your goal is to be happy.
You must be thinking angry thoughts or you would be having different types of feelings. Your feelings, positive or negative, are not “bad,” they are simply information and they are foolproof in letting you know where you stand and what needs to be done.
5) The last principle is to live more of our life in the present moment. By using our feelings, we can tell when our mind is drifting away from this moment—which is so common in today’s world. But as you bring your attention back to just this moment, you’ll begin to feel the joy of each precious moment of life. When you’re bothered or irritated, it will usually be because you’re thinking about something that is already over or something that is yet to be.
~Richard Carlson
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Walking Through Your Fear
Though fear is literally an evolutionary gift meant to sharpen your senses and energize you during times of great stress, it can nonetheless become a barrier that prevents you from fulfilling your potential by causing you to miss out on rewarding, life-changing experiences. During the period before you face your fear, you may have to deal with a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions. Walking through it, whether your fear is public speaking, taking part in an activity that makes you nervous, or asserting yourself when the odds are against you, may be equally as difficult. But once you have emerged unscathed on the other side, which you will, you will likely wonder why you assumed the worst in the first place. As you spend time worrying about what might happen, it’s good to know that your fear probably won’t happen at all. It may feel like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you will likely feel a sense of passionate pride. Walking through your fear can! mean taking risks and can require both practice and patience. Since it is challenging to act when you are gripped with fear, start small.
Each step you take into fear will strengthen you and help you confront future fears with poise, courage, and confidence. You will also find that when you are willing to stare your fear in the face, the universe will always offer you some form of aid or support. When you see the heights of accomplishment and personal evolution you can attain when you walk through your fears, your faith in yourself will grow, allowing your next step to be easier.
~DailyOM
Monday, May 4, 2009
Emotional Intelligence
Self-awareness is the foundation for developing a wider and deeper range of emotional intelligence skills. By deepening our self-awareness we can continuously monitor our emotional responses to everyday situations. This is a skill which can be developed with practice. Once developed this skill enables us to become aware of our own conditioned responses to situations, to learn how to ‘inhibit’ our learnt responses and to choose new responses. It takes some time and effort to learn, but once acquired this can be done in a matter of seconds- even in busy working situations. This self-awareness and ability to choose new responses are key elements of emotional intelligence. With awareness we become aware of our conditioned habitual responses and can create a gap in which we choose to respond differently. We can set ourselves free.
Emotional intelligence skills enable us to read our emotions and make adjustments where appropriate. They enable us to 'detach' from our emotions when necessary, without suppressing them. As we become self-aware we develop the ability to observe our thoughts and emotions and dis-identify rather than be identified with them. We realize that we can change our habitual emotional responses, and choose a different response. For example, no one outside of us has the power to make us angry. If we find ourselves often becoming angry in response to similar situations, it is because anger may have become a conditioned response for us. With self-awareness and practice we can experience the freedom to choose a different emotion.
We can reach a stage where we are no longer swept away by emotions. We can empathize with others who are struggling with emotional-mental attachments. We no longer take others’ emotions personally, or feel a need to react to them.
True freedom and true autonomy comes when we are free of these habitual gut reactions and we have an awareness of what’s happening in our systems. We become free to feel differently. Our actions may or may not change but our sense of power and freedom comes from feeling differently about our action and choices. It stems from a growing awareness that we are acting from choice and freedom and not a place of powerlessness or an idea that somebody else has control over us or that somebody else has the power to make us feel a certain way. We might even realize that no one and nothing outside of us really has the power to ‘make us’ feel anything.
We become empowered and are no longer victims of external factors. We have the power to choose our own responses to whatever happens. We have the power of choosing where we place our attention in any moment, which gives us the power to choose a different response. Once we are clear of habitual reactions we have the freedom to evaluate and respond differently in each new moment. Our ability to respond differently to each fresh situation brings a deep knowing that we have this essential basic freedom.
This deeper understanding leads us to new ways of being, new ways of interacting with others and new levels of compassion. It deepens and enriches our communication and our relationships. This is emotional intelligence.
~Ruth Hadikin
Monday, April 27, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
No Ned To Win
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Always focus on embracing the positive rather than resisting the negative. Releasing negative thoughts of resistance will free your energy to use it in a more positive way. You will feel more energetic, more vibrant and more alive when you focus on what you do want versus what you don’t want. Quit the “resistance” patterns and you will start seeing some amazing changes in your life.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
The greatest joy - Giving
The greatest loss - Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work - Helping others
The ugliest personality trait - Selfishness
The most endangered species - Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource - Our youth
The greatest “shot in the arm” - Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome - Fear
The most effective sleeping pill - Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease - Excuses
The most powerful force in life - Love
The most dangerous pariah - A gossiper
The world’s most incredible computer - The brain
The worst thing to be without - Hope
The deadliest weapon - The tongue
The two most power-filled words - “I Can”
The greatest asset - Faith
The most worthless emotion - Self-pity
The most prized possession - Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication - Prayer
The most beautiful attire - SMILE!
- Anonymous
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Victim Mentality
People are often quick to embrace the victim mentality because it removes all blame and responsibility from themselves and places it on something or someone else. We are a victim of circumstance. We are a victim of others’ decisions. “I didn’t decide this. I can’t control it. Why should I have to take the blame for it?” This exemplifies the conversation we have with others or within ourselves as we step into this existence. The danger with following this mental and emotional path is that we express a number of negative things to those around us. Because each person may perceive the same situation differently, we run the chance of showing ourselves as a liar, selfish, unengaged, individualistic, standoffish, arrogant and unconcerned about others in the same situation.
How many times do we jump into the attitude of the victim because either we don’t know about the circumstances that overtake us or we are not able to control their onset? How many times do we excuse ourselves from responsibility, liability and team membership solely because we were not part of the decision making process or were uninformed until the last moment? We have two choices when these circumstances catch us by the neck. We embrace them and work through them or we declare ourselves the victim and excuse ourselves: disgracing ourselves and forcing others to take the lead in addressing the challenge and moving forward. I would suggest that we lose more by victimizing ourselves than of facing the situation in truth and working it through for a resolution. While it’s true that taking the attitude of a victim offers us a false sense of power, control and exemption, we sacrifice our reputation in the same stroke.
http://bryanhurlbut.blogspot.com/2008/10/victim-mentality.html
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Traits Of a High Performer
2. They realize that real success takes time and that there are no short cuts.
3. They have a plan as well as a back up plan.
4. They realize that there’s no such thing as a “bad day” but rather less better
moments.
5. They have purpose when they wake up in the morning.
6. They invest in themselves (remember the last article “Invest in yourself’?). They spend time and money on their health, physical state and appearance. What good is having wealth without health?
7. They respect the clock, arrive at appointments not on time but rather before
time.
8. They start their day with the right ATTITUDE.
9. They take responsibility, accept criticism and don’t always try and fight back.
10. They realize that the better prepared they, the better chances they have of
achieving success.
11. They realize that the “comfort zone” is a dangerous place to be where progress doesn’t happen.
12. They are not afraid of hard work and don’t work set hours.
13. They do things others don’t like to do (training on rainy days, getting up at 5am to go to gym or work)
14. They are disciplined and goal driven people.
15. They are proactive people. They take action, they make things happen.
16. They have purpose and goals in their training sessions or work projects.
17. They learn to respect their bodies. They plan time to rest, revitalise, take good nutrition and spend time away from their performance arena.
18. They take time out to strengthen their mental side by reading biographies on
successful people or doing meditation for example.
19. They realize that people are either energy givers or energy takers.
20. They plan, prepare and evaluate their own performances.
21. They enjoy the pursuit and journey they are on. They feel privileged to be doing what they do.
22. They don’t waste energy on things that are out of their control.
23. They don’t make excuses.
24. They are not afraid to fail. When they fail they see it as something they have learnt and make changes for the next time.
25. They see opportunity when others see problems.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Impermanence
When we fail to acknowledge impermanence, we cling to things. We cling to our youth, to our health, to our relationships, and to our possessions. We cling to them as though they could provide lasting happiness, as though they will last forever. Eventually, reality intervenes. That to which we cling is taken from us, and we forced to face the truth of impermanence. Thus we have the pain of a stolen car, of an ended relationship, or the death of a loved one.
In actual fact, the pain associated with clinging arises even before these moments. The pain arises earlier in the form of fear. Deep down, we are already aware of impermanence. Therefore, if we cling to something that is temporary, we live in fear of the day when it is taken from us. We can have a much happier life if we instead realize and accept the impermanence of existence. We can see the futility of clinging to things, and instead learn to appreciate them while we have them, but without staking our happiness on them. This also helps us to make better decisions. When we understand that we will change, and that other people will change, then we can recognize when a fresh approach is needed.
The suffering that results from clinging to impermanence is not fun. Learning to acknowledge the impermanence of existing may seem scary, however it is actually liberating. In reality, we are just acknowledging something that we are already aware of anyway. When we bring it into the open, we realize that it is not so scary. We actually find that recognition of impermanence brings more lightness, acceptance, and joy into our lives, and that the fear and suffering go away.
http://spiritualinquiry.com/
Friday, March 27, 2009
2. I shall not be confused by methodologies
3. I shall not be enticed by power or reputation
4. I shall not suffer from material desires
5. I shall not be controlled by fascination
6. I shall not be angered by injustice
7. I shall not be confined by sentimentality
8. I shall not be disturbed by social customs
9. I shall always be open-minded and magnanimous
10. I shall always be wise and understanding
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Assertion Rights
2. I have the right to be treated with respect as an intelligent, capable and equal human being.
3. I have the right to express my feelings.
4. I have the right to express my opinions and values.
5. I have the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for myself.
6. I have the right to make mistakes.
7. I have the right to change my mind.
8. I have the right to say that I don’t understand.
9. I have the right to ask for what I want.
10. I have the right to decline responsibility for other people’s problems.
11. I have the right to deal with others without being dependent on them for approval.
12. Other people have the right to all of the above.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Non-Aggression With Difficult People
By practicing non-aggression with difficult people or situations in our life, we may even find ourselves grateful for the chance to practice discipline, self-restraint, and patience.
Mittakali's Poem
and wandered, full of faith
I was still greedy
for possessions and praise
I lost my way.
My passions used me,
and I forgot the real point
of my wandering life.
Then a I sat in my little cell,
there was only terror.
I thought - this is the wrong way,
a fever of longing controls me.
Life is short.
Age and sickness gnaw away.
I have no time for carelessness
before this body breaks.
And as I watched the elements of mind and body
rise and fall away
I saw them as they really are.
I stood up.
My mind was completely free.
The Buddha's teaching has been done.
~Mittakali
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Regarding Worry
Anxiety is the greatest modern plague causing many forms of ill health. The worrier is not likely to live as long as the person who learns to overcome his worries.
Worries can be cast off easily. The first step to break the habit of worry is simply to believe you can. Whatever you believe you can do, you can do.
During sleep, thoughts tend to seek more deep in the sub conscious. The last 5 minutes before going to sleep are of extraordinary importance because during that period, mind is most receptive to suggestions. This process of mind drainage is important in overcoming worry. Fearful thoughts can be drained out from the mind daily. Every night, before going to sleep, conceive yourself of actually emptying your mind of all anxiety and fear. Picture all these thoughts flowing out just like water flows from a tap.
Imagination is the source of fear. You form an image either of fear or of release of fear. What you imagine may ultimately become a fact if held mentally with sufficient faith.
The mind never remains empty. Something or the other keeps going in it. So, when you empty your mind from all the worries, fill it with thoughts of hope, faith, courage etc. keep your mind occupied with some work or the other and your mind won’t have any place for worries.
You can also overcome worry by talking positive everyday. Never say ‘This is going to be a terrible day’. Always say ‘It is going to be a great day’. Never participate in a worry conversation. A group of people talking pessimistically can infect every person in the group with negativism.
Cultivate friendships with hopeful people. Surround yourself with friends who think positive and who contribute to a creative atmosphere. This will help you in breaking your worry habit by stimulating you with faithful attitudes.
By following these simple rules, you can get rid of your greatest enemy. I hope my article will help you to break the huge tree of worry. All the best to all of you and keep smiling!
HOW TO BREAK THE WORRY HABIT
1. Ask yourself this question. What are the chances that what I am worrying about will ever happen?
2. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Don’t spend valuable time on inconsequential things. Don’t make it bigger than it is.
3. Accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference (The Serenity Prayer)
4. Focus on Solutions not Problems. Most people spend 90 %of their time on the problem and 10% on the solution. It should be the other way—90% on the solution and 10% on the problem.
5. Live In the Present. Don’t try to predict what CAN happen in the future. Concentrate on what you want to happen NOW. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but live in the present.
6. Solve Problems as They Arise. Problems don’t go away or get better because you ignore them. Look for the best possible solution and then take positive action.
7. Keep busy – Stay focused on the many positive possibilities that lie ahead for you. Engage in activities that inspire and motivate you. Don’t live your lives based on What if? You could spend your entire existence worrying about NOTHING.
http://www.lindaspeak.com/ptworry.htm
Monday, February 23, 2009
Spiritual World
~Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov
Sunday, February 22, 2009
The first type I tackle with ruthless perception; I NEVER allow anxiety or frustration to take hold - I stop myself the minute I start to feel the precursor emotions - I disconnect from my immediate situation (take a time out) and re-evaluate the stupidity of my perceptions - that invariably causes me to laugh, and then I can pick up where I was without the adrenal baggage.
The second type is what some folks call "burn out" stress. It's when you find yourself watching the clock, dreading getting out of bed in the morning, etc. It is much more insidious, because we "write it off" so easily. That type of stress is dealt with by changing your environment completely - if you are clock watching - get up and leave!! Even if it's in the middle of a meeting, and go have a massage at a spa, or a walk in the park, or a base jump off the roof! Something completely OTHER. In the case of the dreads in the morning, those happen when you allow exhaustion stress to accumulate - smack yourself for letting it get out of hand - do a base jump (or a spa retreat) immediately - and re-evaluate what the heck you are doing with your days.
Balance is a question of being in harmony with your desires - if your desires are being met as you work 80 hour weeks (your desires obviously don't include a healthy family life) and your stress is low (well managed) then you are leading a balanced lifestyle - Professional managers golf and sail, entrepreneurs build businesses - it's all recreation!!
Don't forget, excitement IS stress (medically speaking), stress isn't bad, only ignored stress. Animals don't die from fight/flight responses - only humans do - because they ignore them, and suffer the physiological damage caused by the unused overdoses of adrenals and neurotransmitters.
Oh yeah - I can find something to laugh about almost anywhere - serotonin is wonderful for stress!
Friday, February 20, 2009
International Pipe-Smoking Day
Monday, February 16, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Something To Live By
Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything.
Be generous to those who need your help.
Be frugal with what you need yourself.
Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything.
Be foolish enough to believe in miracles.
Be willing to share your joys.
Be willing to share the sorrows of others.
Be a leader when you see a path others have missed.
Be a follower when you are shrouded in the midst of uncertainty.
Be the first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.
Be the last to criticize a colleague who fails.
Be sure where your next step will fall, so that you will not stumble.
Be sure of your final destination, in case you are going the wrong way.
Be loving to those who love you.
Be loving to those who do not love you, and they may change.
Above all, be yourself!
Friday, January 30, 2009
13 Keys
- Master your mind and thoughts. Don't let them control you.
- Discover and learn to use your personal compass, feelings and emotions.
- The awesome power of focus and concentration. Eliminate distractions.
- Be organized and utilize your most valuable resource, time!
- Your Health, the most valuable thing you own.
- Become - Action and results orientated.
- Question limiting beliefs and uncover the truth!
- Learn the real secret behind goals. Affirmations.
- Face fear and destroy it!
- Communication. Ask for what you want, say what you feel and convey what you mean.
- Ego is a dirty word, clean yours up now.
- Be yourself, there is only one YOU.
- Most importantly put it all together and put it into practice.
http://www.keytolife.com.au/keys.html
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Work Home Balance
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year
old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the
man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an
hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can
borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you
march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you
are being so selfish . I don't work hard everyday for such childish
frivolity's.'
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's
questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to
think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and
he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of
the little boy's room and opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man.
'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the
$25 you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he
yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up
bills.
The man saw that the boy already ha d money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his
father.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father
grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home
early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he
begged for his forgiveness.
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We
should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some
time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do
remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily
replace us in a matter of hours... But the family & friends we leave
behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The Wisdom Of Fear
Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to notify us that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out. The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honor our fear, recognizing its arrival, listening to its intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence.
http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2006/5093.html
The Upside Of Irritation
From a deeper spiritual perspective, however, irritation can be an important teacher and indicator that we are making progress on our path. Being able to remain centered and awake even when we feel uncomfortable is much more impressive than doing so in an environment where everything is to our liking. No matter how good we are at controlling our circumstances, there will always be factors and people that we cannot control. How we respond to these experiences to a great degree determines the quality of our lives. The goal of spiritual development is not to learn to control our environment—which is more of an ego-driven desire. And while having some measure of control over our external reality is important, it is when we are confronted with a person or situation that irritates us and we can choose not to react that we know have made progress spiritually. It is when we have mastered our internal reality that we will have become the masters of our lives.
The more we try to eliminate annoyances, instead of learning to handle them gracefully, the further we get from developing the qualities that come with spiritual growth, such as patience, tolerance, and acceptance. It is often in the presence of people and experiences we find annoying that we have an opportunity to develop these qualities. Fortunately for most of us, our lives offer an abundance of opportunities to practice and cultivate these traits.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
If i want to be free, i am not free. Only if i don't know what freedom is, i am free.
What is frustration?
Frustration is when i reach beyond where i can reach. If i feel frustrated, i am dealing with a problem that is out of reach. Basically, it is NOT my problem. If it were my problem, i'd have the tools to deal with the problem.
What to do when i feel frustrated?
I need to make it smaller, up to the point where the problem is small enough for me to really encompass the problem. That's where i see that there is no problem at all, just a decision to make.
What is ego?
Ego is energy for which there is no usefull purpose. Edward de Bono calls this "the problem of having no problem". My mind is like a computer system: once powered on, it can not do nothing. CPU's have an instruction called NOP - No OPeration - to do "busy wait". Problems are like NOP's.
What is the purpose of my life?
When i realize that ego, frustration and problems are nothing but excuses to not face this question of what to do with my life, i do away with them. I then face this existential loneliness of not knowing what my purpose is. Again, referring to my earlier definition of frustration, i come to realize that the purpose of my life is really NOT my problem. So i make the problem smaller and smaller, until there is only the need for me to understand what it is that i do. And then i see that i really don't know. I want to know, i refuse all answers. I refuse any guru, i refuse my own answers, and i cultivate and protect my burning desire to know.
That's where i find out about my life's purpose. When nothing else works, in the face of the dark, i see that my mind has no opposite to this existential darkness. My mind is calling me for help. I see that the bliss, the connection to source, is none other than this existential loneliness. These are one and the same.
And then i see how i AM this emptiness. I am NOTHING. And from nothing, anything is possible. Finally i feel at home.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Disconnecting From The Source
Reconnecting with the universe grounds you and is as easy as you making a concerted effort to become interested in the activities you love or responding to what nurtures or stimulates you. You may also want to make a list of the activities and kinds of experiences that touch your soul. Try to pinpoint the times when you have felt fully engaged and aware and ask yourself what you were doing. But one of the easiest ways to reconnect is simply by stating the intention of doing so.
When you disconnect from the universe, your sense of purpose, creativity, and ability to be innovative are not as easy to access. You may also experience a deep and empty sense of longing or feel devoid of ideas or unworthy of love. It’s important, however, to recognize that being disconnected from the universe is never a permanent state, and it can be reversed any time you decide that you are ready to reconnect. When you are connected to the universe, all aspects of your being will feel alive as the flow of the universe pours through your being and into your life.
Choose One’s Own Way
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Worry or Think Time
The important steps are:
(1) set a specific time each day for your time,
(2) when you become aware of a distracting thought, remind yourself that you have a special time to think about them,
(3) let the thought go, perhaps with "Be here now," and
(4) be sure to keep that appointment with yourself at that special time to think on the distracting thoughts of the day
Awakened vs. Unawakened Mind
...the unawakened mind tries to grasp and hold on to emotions and things, which by their very nature are fleeting; it's like trying to grasp water between your hands. If we understand that the cause of suffering and dissatisfaction is attachment, then it's obvious that the remedy is simply letting go.
~Awakening The Buddha Within - Lama Surya Das
Friday, January 2, 2009
Greatest Capacity For Change
~Charles Darwin