MY BASE FEARLESS STATEMENT
I am dependent on no other
person or circumstances.
I am fully capable of
fully providing all I need and want and creating happiness no matter what.
I have no inner fears
and I accept no judgments. I know who
I actually am.
I have nothing to lose,
as I have so much.
I have decided to choose
happiness and love no matter what.
I make decisions only
from happiness and love.
I am the creator of it
all.
__________________________________________________________
DISCUSSION, HIGH POINTS
WHAT FEAR IS
Fear = feeling of
agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence ofdanger.
(See Fear section, of
course!)
It is danger in the real
world, the physical world, for anything else is, as in Buddhism, just a
"mental construct" - made up in the mind, fabricated, fictional, not
real - but somehow in our training we believe it is real. Yes, we must
re-train ourselves to "grok" this fully, but the time is well worth
it, as we'll free up the mind from useless repeated concern, so that there is
plenty of space for appreciation of life and for creating what we actually
want.
DISCRIMINATING
Given that this is the
definition, we simply need to discriminate more about what danger
really is, so that we eliminate all things we are
interpreting as being threatening that are not threatening and/or assign them
the proper threat level instead of exaggerating them
(using,say, a scale of 1 to 10, with 7 and above being worth labelling an
important enough threat for concern). The Fear section is what
will help you do that; you might read, in that section, Threats And Fear.
UNDESIRED OUTCOMES AND
THEIR TRUE EFFECT
However, the major fear
that most of us spend alot of energy on and create unhappiness about is fear
that we will not be able to stand a particular outcome and especially
not be able to handle it well. See Undesired Outcomes in
life.
Essentially, we are
creating our world based on fear of feeling fear, which, if we use our higher
brain, we can see has no useful purpose. In essence, as in Buddhism, we
receive a "dart" (something that happens that penetrates us) and then
we add a needlesss "second dart" to create
unnecessary suffering that does not contribute to our survival nor our happiness!!!!
EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY
OF THOSE BELIEFS
However, note that you
have handled "bad" outcomes before and you've survived.
In fact, if you observe
objectively, you've survived lots and lots of so-called "bad"
outcomes, which means that, from a higher perspective, those "bad"
outcomes caused no noticeable damage in an actual sense. You only thought
they did or would. You came out just fine.
There was no or little
physical damage. The only "real" damage is that which is
"out there" in the real world, in reality. There is no damage
to yourself if there is no physical damage. Any emotional pain, beyond
physical pain's effects, you created yourself in a "make-believe"
world, which is by definition an illusion that was not real and was not
necessary. Learning not to create those illusions and to not create
emotional pain from those illusions is the key process on the road to happiness
and a great life. It must absolutely be done!
THIS, TOO, SHALL SOON
PASS
You can, in fact, stand
those unpleasant times [though most of the really bad ones are ones you
worsened by your thinking] - and note that they all soon pass. But, until
you fix that fact clearly in mind, the vague threat will still inappropriately
be signaled by the dumber brains.
THE ACTUAL CAUSE OF THE
"PAIN"
Often the anticipation
of the outcome causes more pain than the outcome. In some cases the pain
was quite substantial, but in very, very, very, very few circumstances
compared to the total.
[Note that I am talking
about the pain itself, such as loss or a physical hurt, and not about
what one often adds to that, in effect making an initial something
into a horrible thing that shouldn't have happened and creating a "poor
me" out of it. This is what is called stupidly but voluntarily
adding suffering. Of course,
you don't think it is voluntary, but you actually do have a choice
about it and you chose the option that had you suffer, for
whatever convoluted reason.]
It is the non-acceptance
of the fact that we will have some pain and/or undesired outcomes that causes
more suffering. If we simply say "well, that is the outcome and I
don't like it but I do accept that that is what actually exists, so now what
can I do about it?", then the pain is less and definitely is not added
to! (See the "breakthrough process", under Life Management,
Problem-Solving,Problem/GoalSetting/Breakthrough Form.)
RESISTING CREATES AN
IMMENSE AMOUNT OF DAMAGING PAIN
If we simply accept what
is so, then the pain of resistance and wanting things to be other than they are
no longer is created. Note, of course, that what already is cannot be
other than what already is. Wishing it were otherwise doesn't change what
is. Resisting it doesn't change what is and it only creates unhelpful
emotional pain (and tension!). These are what one might call
"fruitless victim behavior". See the article in the Suffering and Struggle section: My Enlightenment Experience Being Sick
In India, Gratitude And Non-Suffering.
THE FEAR OF NOT BEING
ABLE TO HANDLE THE OUTCOME
We suffer over and over
again by re-creating the fear that we will not be able to handle the outcome
(in addition to misestimating the impact of the outcome).
We would, of course, not suffer in fear of not being able to
handle the outcome if in fact we knew
that we could rely on ourselves to do the best we can about what
occurred (and/or will occur) at the time and then accept the consequences, to
which we would adapt to with confidence.
Part of having that
confidence comes from committing to and knowing one can create
(choose) happiness no matter what.
The odd thing is that
our anticipation of our not being able to respond at all well to the outcome is
almost always an exaggeration, as we actually do better than we
anticipate. We simply need to know this, as that perception will help to
at least "lessen" the exaggeration and thus lessen the fear.
Note that to be able to
choose (virtual) fearlessness, one must choose to be a total non-victim.
Being or feeling like a victim is the #1 source behind most of our unhappiness.
(Read, under Relationships, Communication, Criticism/Blame/Complaining/Victim,
the Victim section, especially Where Are You On The Victim Vs. Cause
Scale? .)
Bon voyage, to a new
life of (virtual) fearlessness and the choice to be happy no matter what.
SOME READINGS DIRECTLY
ON FEARLESSNESS:
Of course, you'll want
to study the section on Fear also.
Fearlessness - My Basic Statement -
A short six sentence summary of a realization by
a Fearlessness
course attendee (see www.option.org).
Fearlessness - Proclamation Of
Emancipation From Fear - Writings, largely unedited,
from a busy mind
at 4 a.m. Wednesday of a full week Fearlessness course
(option.org), in
which the author realizes that there is no usefulness to fear and that
there is
actually nothing to lose and nothing that isn't workable for creating happiness
from. See Option.org for
the workshop or CD on this.
My Fearlessness Statements -
The affirmations and reminders that I use to reinforce my
continued fearlessness
and my realization of what is unloseable.
Undesired Outcomes - OK
Or Not? - They're inevitable, but we expect otherwise and
resist it. How can
we change that unnecessary pain we inflict on ourselves?
RESOURCES
For "getting
it" through using the principle of total immersion and focus, participate
in the week long Fearless course at The Option Institute (www.option.org).
Ordering the CD of excerpts from the class would also be a good idea.
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