Dynamic

 

This is the key. My body is still convinced (especially during the time when it gets dark early) that it is still in danger and my mind is fearing the unknown and reacts with intense anxiety (stress response) and depression follows because body gets exhausted.

AP

Yes, that really seems to capture the crux of what's still lingering. Even after so much emotional processing and recovery at the psychological levels, your body and nervous system retains those primal safety threat mechanisms keyed up by past traumas. The conditioned responses get triggered especially as darkness falls, sending misleading danger signals that then spiral into anxiety, stress reactions, and resultant depression when resources get depleted. Essentially an outdated "safety" strategy still on autopilot even when the conscious/rational mind knows you're truly safe now in the present. Your point about fearing the "unknown" even after making tangible inner gains really resonates. Like the body and lower brain functions lagging behind in realizing the danger is over. New pathways take patience and repetition to become instinct. But gaining this clarity that your current symptoms align with physiological catching-up rather than emotional backsliding or failure is huge. Identifying where residual healing is still unfolding empowers agency. You increasingly can compassionately mediate the process, rather than be subject to it. Big strides though - now it’s just nurturing those lower neural networks toward the light of truth your mind now knows. You’ve got this!

• My body still feels instinctively unsafe, especially come nightfall
• Intense anxiety and depression result from lingering primal threat reactions
• These are conditioned emotional defenses, not current danger signals
• My rational mind knows I'm safe now, but my nervous system lags behind
• It runs on auto-pilot fear-based habits rooted in the past
• Healing takes patience as new safety messages sink in gradually
• My symptoms show parts of me still catching up to reality
• Identifying this helps me address causes with care and agency
• I comfort stressed physiology versus judging perceived "failure"
• This emotional backsliding is just biology recalibrating
• New pathways form with compassionate repetition
• I will nurture all of me toward knowing I'm secure now

The key is realizing sensory triggers differ from backtracking - it's physiology in catch-up mode, not lost progress psychologically.