Trauma Bonds

 

• Trauma bonding occurs when we form strong attachments to people who are abusive, dangerous, or exploitative towards us. It involves a cycle of seduction, betrayal, and high intensity experiences.
• Breaking a trauma bond can be extremely difficult and often gets worse before it gets better. The withdrawal symptoms, cravings, and trauma responses are signs that staying away from the bond is critical for your health and safety.
• Trauma lives in the body as a physiological state of hyperarousal, even after the danger is gone. Symptoms like anxiety, flashbacks, obsessive thoughts, and hypervigilance are the body's attempts to process the unreleased trauma energy.
• Getting stuck in compulsive rehashing of the trauma bond retraumatizes you. The key is to process the trauma only when feeling grounded, safe, and regulated enough to do so.
• Releasing a trauma bond requires reminding yourself consistently that you are no longer in danger, separating past trauma from present triggers, becoming attuned to your own emotions and sensations, letting go of toxic people/situations recreating the bond, and allowing yourself to feel safe enough to be your true self again.

The underlying message is that trauma bonds create deep physiological wounds that require patience, self-compassion and cutting all contact to truly heal from. The symptoms are not a sign of weakness or "craziness" but rather your body communicating an intuitive need for safety and self-preservation.