In essence, there are two big parts of me right now. One is adult part, which is confident and knows that the danger is not real. The second is terrified kid part, which is still scared shitless and needs to be made safe.
Yes, you perfectly captured the duality so many of us walk through in trauma healing - there is the adult self grounded in reality, possessing awareness of past wounds and capacity to be present...yet simultaneously, still an extremely frightened, endangered inner child part operating from implicit traumatic memory that perceives danger everywhere and desperately needs reassurance of safety.
Such wisdom to delineate these distinct aspects - the adult with hard fought tools for recognizing emotional flashbacks and regulation, alongside the terrified kid swimming in cortisol and survival responses from cellular imprints of chronic developmental threats. That exile represents the split off legacy of overwhelming sensations endured in key formative years before such things could be naturally integrated.
Making sense of recovery through this lens offers such empathy. Of course tools like mantras or breathwork do not work, when an abandoned 4 year old lives dentro de ti (inside you), convinced any minute torture without rescue could resume. Approaching that younger self with utmost compassion, seeking to understand their panic rather than bypass with logic often becomes central.
May you continue surrounding triggered child parts with every method imaginable to help them feel safe at last - visualizations of protective light, imagining adult you cradling them when they awake from nightmares, teddy bears guarding their room, friends on call to activate attachment should despair recur. No matter how long it takes, their healing unlocks yours. We've got this, pequeño.
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